Having Hot Chocolate

The sun is shinning bright!

2011-02-04T23:53:00.001-08:00

Even Crabbie is sun tannin! I got to do something that I havent done in a long while! Yeap! Just like Crabbie I was busking in the sun! plucked in my earphones and feeling the heat on my body, feeling the occasional cool breeze... I miss those times...! And of coz, I got to do some self reflection and thinking. Been so long since I did that. =)

I finally sent that email out. I think I better not think too much. Wondering how the reader will feel/how the reader will respond... keep telling myself it doesnt matter anymore. I have done my part in sending out the email and that's it. It's a done deal. DONE!! 不要去想了啦！！

Cupcakes

2011-01-09T03:14:00.000-08:00

A-SASHI-MEEE 六岁了!! 这六年来我们进过得事可不少，但是学了很多。(okie, I should stop blogging in Chinese, it's horrible.)

I just thought I would like to list down what are the significant events that happened over the past 6 years in our relationship.

Year 1 - 2005

I said "YES!" not to a proposal but to a relationship that is for the long run. Not to get into a relationship to try things out, but to get into a relationship to make sure we really put our effort into making things work. That was after a couple of weeks of thinking and praying on both sides. When we head to Lower Pierce Reservoir to talk, I said yes! Soon after that I left for Australia to finish the rest of my Bachelor degree. That's when we spent 10 months away in two different continents (我们相各两地得事侯)。Btw, our relationship was under wraps...

Year 2 - 2006

I came back and was looking for a job while he was about to finish his NS and start his Theological studies in TCA College. We were still trying to find our footing in this relationship and we quarreled alot for a "new" couple. Our relationship was still under wraps until my mum finally found out around Aug and asked me to break up with him - because of his race issues. She threatens to chase me out of the house if I am still going to be with him. We were still together but was under even more wraps. 这时后，以为没什么大不了得。。。就不跟妈妈讲就可以了。。。可是我错了。。。

Year 3 - 2007

The relationship was under bubble wraps... finally around the same time as last year, mum found out that all along I was still together with him. This time she gave me a time frame of 3 months to break up with him. Again threatens to chase me outta the house (she was darn serious), disown me, not leave an inheritance for me. And I tot she was racist... I thought she was being the most unreasonable person in this entire universe, I tot she never tried to understand how much I want to be with Sashi. And how much Sashi loves me. She told my aunt (who brought me up since I was young), that she is NOT going to attend my wedding and is demanding that everyone in the family do not attend as well. In Nov 2007, with the help of Ps Wilson, we decided to cool off our relationship and concentrate on our lives with God and also work on our relationship with our family. Ultimately, if we want to get married, we want both our parents blessings. We gave each other no more than 1.5 years time frame. There was a mutual agreement that during this 1.5 years, if so, that we find out that there is someone that we like or find him/her to be more suitable, we'd promised to tell each other. Times were tough and this was how this blog was set up, we used to co-blog the other one... 这时侯得我们是份开的。。。但我们有说，如果有使当的人的话，要跟对仿说。没相到。。。

(WOW.... 好长也好痛的一断日子哦。。。)

Year 4 - 2008

The year of cooling off has gone by while we still know that we love each other, there's were hidden problems that we did not communicate about. We were like we were not in a relationship but some parts of it we were acting like as if we are a couple. We never knew what were the hidden problems until much later in the next year. 没相到的事，两人都没说。。。发生了的事请都静静得藏在心里。。。不说的愿因是不敢说出来吧。。。怕伤害到对仿。。。He finally told his dad about our relationship before watchnight service in 2008. He's dad did not object - which is over and above what was expected of his reactions. I told my mum about it and slowly and surely, she began to accept him and I began to understand the "racist issues" that my mum had. I thank God for opening my heart and my eyes to see beyond wad was said, and to see the heart of a mother and the love she has for her children.

Year 5 - 2009

I couldnt continue living a lie and I remembered the words of the agreement, that if so that there would be someone else... 说不出口的话，还是得说出来。。。I confessed finally and I was taken aback by what was told to me. 着么可能？？？这重事为什么会发生在我的身上呢？？ We chose to stuck by each other despite what happened and work through our differences. Yes, by God's grace we stuck by each other... And it was a battle, but an uphill to greater things for each other. Greater understanding of each other, greater love, greater ways of making our relationship work. I must say, since then, our relationship has never been better. It's like we are almost enjoying the fruits of our labour for those past years. We both have grown, and grown to love each other more and more. A-SASHI-MEE 长大了。成熟了。Mum has began to love him the way I do. Cooking for him, asking him to join in for family function. The family has seen him more and more. He is already part of the family. I am so proud of my mum! I so thank God for everything that has happened...

Year 6 - 2010

我们要结婚！！I said "YES!!" this time it was to the PROPOSAL. the 5 candles that represent the years we were together. The things we went through over the years. The song he sang "My girl". The kneeling on one knee. That day has finally come and I said YES! Life is different from then on. He also started his internship and I started to get involve in TCC's Christmas production. We finally moved over to TCC and I can see.. his whole spirit is so much better, his has his calling refired, beliefs are reinforced. Thank God. Days definitely looked brighter...

Year 7 - 2011

9th Jan 2011 and we spend the day in church, lunch with family, naps at home, dinner at Prata House and watch Man U vs Liverpool. Though it feels just like any normal sunday, I had a good time with him. This is probably the last time we are "celebrating" our Anniversary. The years on, it'd be a different Anniversary. 7 years on, to where we are as a couple, we find that we are grateful to God and God alone. It's 5 more months to the wedding and MAN!! I want to say I AM BLESSED! =)

报告完必！晚安！！

Rollercoaster

2011-01-03T19:46:00.000-08:00

Rollercoaster......? Really? not to depict my life but my tummy just right about now. Well... Since the trip to Malacca, my tummy has been throwing tantrums and acting abnormal. AFter ONE week of hoping that it will go away on it's own... I decided to go see a doc. Maybe it might be stomach flu... but the doc - like he has seen this condition 10238475 times before - told me to avoid milk and chili, instructions for the tablets taking, an MC to cover me for today and off I go.

While I am waiting for the fish porridge to .... *phone rings*

HAH! Just finished my fish porridge. So I shall do some stuff while hoping my tummy will recover soon ;)

The wedding bells are ringing in 5 months....! oh no!! And I havent gotten anything done! HELPS!!

2010-12-14T07:24:00.000-08:00

My dream has always been to walk down a street like the above, hand held by the one I love, hot coco in another hand, wearing long sleeve with a nice jacket, knee high boots with jeans, on a cooling morning, with nothing as the agenda for the day... I typed "street" in google images and saw this picture. Reminds me of the times during our Europe trip. I miss it much!

I had a pretty disturbing conversation with a young lady the other day. She started the conversation with being worried about not getting attached by the end of 2010. As the conversation went on, she finally asked.... " what should I do to be attracting guys?" "Have I not done enough?" "How can I do more?". Disturbing in the sense of.... "why do we need to do anything to attract anyone? She began to sound like she was desperately looking at being attached by the end of 2010 rather than trying to find Mr Right - for the right reason.

When I see your face

There's not a thing that I would change

Cause you're amazing

Just the way you are

And when you smile

The whole world stops and stares for a while

Cause girl you're amazing

Just the way you are

Just. The. Way. You. Are. Shouldnt that how it should be for every couple? To be someone that you are not just to attract guys to get attached just doesnt sit very well with me... infact, it doesnt sit well with me at all!! It's sad to think that there are people out there needin to be love to that point... wad if one day u get tired of being that "someone" who attracted your partner to you? haiz....

Today

2010-12-13T00:45:00.001-08:00

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.

- Maria Robinson

Saw this by chance and I love it! =)

cookie dough

2010-12-08T06:17:00.000-08:00

Thought of the day: And I thought I told myself I should blog more often....

COOKIE DOUGH ICE CREAM!!!!

Had ice cream the other day with Shuai at..... *frowns* I forgot where it was. I had a craving for ice cream for too long. Although in the freezer there is.... "Dark Chocolate with Orange" by Haagen Dazs and "Coconut"/"Durian"/"Red Bean"/"Mango" by Potong Ice Cream... I was craving for AUSSIE (please note: Yes I am talking about AUSTRALIA) cold rock ice cream with cookie dough mix-in!! Well... thanks to the numerous Haagen Dazs ice cream outlets we went.... BUT BUT BUT!! the taste of ice cream melting in my mouth, the chewy cookie dough mix-in lingers in my mouth that none of the ice cream I have in my freezer is gonna satisfy that craving!!!

So I met Shuai for dinner at Joan Bowen and she suggested ice cream!! WOHOOO!!! so we went to.... I cant bother to rem the name coz I dun think I am going back ever again. Reminds me of my experience at Holland Cold Rock. Totally dissappointed. I had Durian with Kinder Bueno. She had Chocolate & Hershey with gummy bears. it's not bad the first few mouth.... as I go on with the ice cream... it doesnt taste that fantastic afterall. Oh well... at least there's a free mix-in ^^

I MISS BRISSE AND EVERYTHING THAT'S IN IT!!!!!

Amy better get her wedding plans moving.....

Park Cleaner

2010-11-18T06:42:00.000-08:00

Thought of the day: Park Cleaner

Well, I had a chance to be a park cleaner for an hour? and man! this job is crazy! hahaha the fun part though.... was actually the filming.

I know sweeping aint an easy job - boy I am glad we have people to keep our parks clean! SO all of you out there! DO NOT DIRTY OUR BEAUTIFUL PARKS OKIE?

I miss acting. And I am glad I was given a chance to this morning. I had so much fun! =) laughing about mistakes, re-takes, throwing leaves, leaves thrown on me, making difference facial expressions.

After we are done, we returned the SAPULEELEE to the cleaners at the parks. Uncle asked SJ - "Got new contracts ah?" - intending to mean if we are the new ones that they have hired to sweep the parks -.- hahaha

Like I said! It was totally tiring.... BUT DEFINITELY FUN!!! =)

Here comes the best part.... WAGYU BEEF!!!

Was at the US Ambassador's residence for a US Embassy Thank You Reception. Because General Mills adopted our charity this year - got a grant for us; brought out children out to Peranakan Museum; had lunch with them; ordered Haagen Dazs ice cream (Haagen Dazs is theirs btw); played games; allow us to put our donation box at their outlets. US Embassy has this appreciation reception for all their partners for doing their part for the society. We went as representatives of the Non-profit. And since HJ is on leave on honeymoon - I had to replace her. Well, what can u expect from a reception by the US ambassador? GOOD of coz!

ON THE MENU:

Cold pasta with tomato and olives

Avocado with red beans and corn mixed in olive oil- MY FAVOURITE!

Vietnamese Spring Roll

Cheese and crackers

Vegetables stick with dip

*drum roll* Grilled Wagyu Beef !!!!

and the rest does not even matter to me anymore..... Ha HA hA! I too pai seh I fed myself about only 8 pieces of those bite size grilled beef. YUMMMYZZ.... They are juicy; not to mention how tender they were, bite it and it feels like you sank you teeth into daopok. No daopok is too dry.... tofu. and the juice just flows out and into your mouth. Just right amount of saltyness and spice from the ground pepper. AHHHHHH I should have gone for my 3rd or 4th round.... when I left, there was still tons left... it's never ending! food comes out like they never intended for it to stop. I seriously wonder what they are going to do with those leftover..... wagyu beef...!!! Did I mentioned the free flow of drinks including wine and beer? not that it mattered to me. But WOW! hahaha It's an eye opener.

Tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!! but weekends has not felt like a weekend anymore... AND.... Whenever I take leave... there's always so much work to catch up when I am back.... haiz.... jia you jia you! I can DO it!! tomorrow is another brand NEW day!! =)

Everyday, Everyday, Everyday

2010-11-14T08:50:00.000-08:00

Thought of the day: E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y

Was walking to the office with Joy and she asked, "What does it feel like to work in church?"

I answered, "I am here EVERYDAY~" And I started singing our church inhouse song Everyday - which we sang in the morning. Hasnt exactly dawned on me that I was actually in church (building/office) for the past 15 days straight. Like she put it, it's like a second home to me now.

Saw Lydia on my way to the Sanctuary and she asked me if I have finished with my Christmas card. I tot her that's work - I will look at it again on Monday.

Saw Lai Choo at the recept and the same topic came up - Mondays to Fridays are my work days and Saturday Sundays are my ministry days.

I am starting to compartmentalise my brain into what's work and what's ministry. Indeed a clear line has to be drawn. I realised that whenever I stay back, whether it's to wait for cell to start or meetings, or after meetings I will usually go back to office and switch on the computer. What I do is very important. As much as I would like to get some work done, I always have to tell myself that I will leave that to a work day. Else, I think I will end up being a workaholic....

NUFF ABOUT WORK AND MINISTRY

Sashi's coming back tomorrow night! I realised that it is easier to release him to do ministry than to release him to go for a holiday (i.e. his holiday to the States). hmmmm O.o I trust that he had a good time. I am sure he had a good time and enjoyed his trip. He has been dropping me an SMS everyday and I am glad he did so. Although I told him that he doesnt have to, he still did =) it's TO DE AIRPORT tmr!! ;)

Marriage Counselling session 2 was totally awesome! I should make notes but so not going to be posted here =)

I am trying to find a sunday or a fri night to go visit. I think I left too abruptly. I miss my tofubots. I miss those old times. I miss this I miss that. I have been missing alot of things lately.... A battle I stopped fighting... but somehow something still lingers somewhere.......

2010-08-10T07:51:00.000-07:00

How do you like your brownies done??

Moist?

Crispy on the outside but soft on the inside?

Filled with melted chocolate chips?

With a tinge of orange flavour?

Eat it with ice cream?

Drizzle with lemon sauce?

I was captured by these heart-shape brownies =) really pretty!

Most of all.... not tt i eat brownies alot.... but i miss my brownie....

Talking about brownies..... yeah... like no one has any idea why all of a sudden I am talking about BROWNIES.....

Past 12 days was pretty much the roughest time I had to go thru since.... we broke up two years back.... that was bad and I thank God it was over. Days go exceptionally slow when I know that wanting to see him is not as easy as when he is in town. And having to "look forward" to him coming back is simply torturous..... and guess wad... I am not even HALF way there. 32 days.... thus that means 20 more days to go.....

Thank God for friends who took the initiative to ask me out, spend time w me, have me around, get tortured by my whining all day long (thank God for colleagues like them) =) They are pointing and "blaming" him for going away for so long though.... hahahaha Quoting Jaena - "he's away for 5 weeks? he's too much!!"

Let's pray we dun get the HDB... the units tt are left now are simply too lousy.... 2nd, 3rd, 4th storey.... God PLEASE.....else.... do provide us with a house that u have specially planned for us..... Did I mention PLEASE?

Let's pray the wedding planning will be smooth.....!

I miss praying with my HTB, singing worship songs with him on the piano...... hmmmm.... Come back soon!!!

having hot choc

2010-03-28T05:18:00.001-07:00

I dun even rem the last time I actually blogged.... much to the extend that I was wondering if got the username and password correct when I wanted to log in.

Time flew like nobody's business and I tell you! time waits for NO ONE! No one!

I sit here in the dinning area on a unfamiliar table top with white cloth and chairs that looked antique.... sure... they are not table and chairs of my dinning area. One sentence that Sash would def identify very well with me right about now...... and a common sentence that he use.... "I feel like fish outta water".

To a certain extend, I do feel like that. But yet, it's something that I longed to be in. Though it's a situation that I hardly catch myself in, I dun feel like a stranger now that I am in it. Yeap, I sit in the dinning room at Sash's house. Together at the table is him, his mum, his grandmum, his dad and his sis. With his uncle sitting in the living area. An image that I never thought I would be in for the longest time.

From images and situations like this, I am reminded time and again how great his love is, how marvelous his grace, how indescribable is his faithfulness and how blessed I am to be his child. We've come so far and all we asked for was our parents' blessing.... and that was the exact thing He gave.

My God... is an awesome God.

HUG THERAPY II

2009-08-04T02:50:00.000-07:00

31 July 2009

This day marks the last day with my tofubots carecell.

This group is one that I have learn to love over the year plus...

the group that I look forward to to facilitate every friday...

the group that I bonded with over fridays...

the group whom I prayed with...

the group whom I have grown with...

the group whom I have seen different individual grow...

the group whom I would challenge to reach out to the youths who are new or has never been to Radi8...

the group which consists of so many potential leaders whom can become great man and woman of God...

the group whom I had fun with during our bowling outing...

the group which welcomed any newcomers...

the group whom I had many lovely discussions with =)

the group whom had 2 germans girls over 2 year period...

the group who meets in our little room ever friday...

the group who only allowed the facilitator to sit on the tiny "throne" in that room...

the group that have so much food, and fun and laughter all the time...

the group that never fails to have our revival meetings...

the group whom I have shared so much with...

the group whom I bought Maccas for 3 times ;)

the group that becomes tofubots because of a tofu lover and transformers II

There's so many things I can say about this group and truely, I am proud of the group as a whole, and every individual that plays a part in making this group as complete as it is. Not forgetting of coz, the one who is in Sydney and the one who went back to Germany

Yongern suggested that everyone to take turn to hug me just like how we hugged Ps Wilson. I couldnt control my tears anymore as each one came to show me love. each hug was so precious and ever so genuine. I will never forget that.

I pray that even as I no longer is their GGL (Gorgeous Group Leader. HA!!), they will leave and go to places to impact other's lives just as I have impacted them. to go higher grounds and be at where God wants them to be. Love u all....

Indeed it was a great honor... and I thank God every time I remember this group

GOOD THING IS!!! We are still around each other =)

HUG THERAPY

2009-07-28T09:09:00.000-07:00

Rushed down to Joshua's dad's wake service but was really late. When I saw him, no words was said, just a good long hug. And I felt so much better doing that, than trying to say some condolences words, I felt that I was able to show some love to this friend of mine.... I felt that the best thing I know how to do was to comfort him with my hug.

My love language: TOUCH

I show you love by wrapping my arms around yours, putting my head on ur shoulders, holding ur hand while trying to walk through a crowd, sliding my arms around ur neck, holding ur hand while I listen to u as u cry.... sometimes words to me are simply too hard to express but touch tells alot about how I care about u.

You can show me love by wrapping ur arms around mine, putting ur head on my shoulders, holding my hand while trying to walk through a crowd, sliding ur arms around my neck, holding my hand while you listen to me as I cry.... you dun have to say much to let me know that you care about me.

It was the most horrendous and torturous time... I fully grasp the idea of wad's SO (darn) NEAR but yet SO (darn) FAR

Did I tell u that I miss Gen, Mick, Jo, Issac, Paul so so much?????.......... I miss all of you.... and you.....

Starbucks

2009-07-22T06:33:00.019-07:00

@ Starbucks. Thought of the day: I needa get things done!!!

As I RE-opened her email... I didnt think I would still continue breathing. There was this split second where I felt my heart stop, my breathe stops and my eyes didnt wanna start reading the email.

Nobody said this road was easy. But for the life of me, I really wanna improve and have some feedback on my playwright skills. And it almost took my life to click that send button.

She said I should take her feedback as constructive and as brutally honest as possible.

And now I am left with a whole truck loads of feedback to chew on....

*Deep Breathe*

Just got a timely call from the BF and was level-upped again. Please let me stay there.....

GGAAAAHHHH!!! I wanna attend that workshop la...........!!!!!! =(

Perk of the day: the Morning SMS and "see I told u.... Keep doing ur part and let God do the rest" and "I wanna believe and stand along with you" and "I wanna do my part to help you"

That is SIMPLY so comforting AND so much less lonelier =D

sucks to be me...

2009-07-15T08:12:00.000-07:00

"Between being Chief and the one you love. CHOOSE THE ONE YOU LOVE."

Just quoting Dr. Bailey.

Yeap. RANDOM.

I shared ALOT in office cell today. I felt so good. To share. Praise report. Sorrows. Confusions. The what-to-dos. The are-things-like-this. The how-did-that-happen. Did I say it felt good? Every staff devotion, every office cell. They just feel so good.

Yeap... I know.... It's YOUR call. Not MINE. Not OURS. But YOURS. It's YOUR call.... yeap...

A few more days to Liverpool in SG. HooRAY!

OK. Yeap RanDOM.

Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us.... sometimes letting it go hurts even worse

Gonna help out with the Elderly department tmr!

*grabs a glass of ICE COLD water*

God be my justice!!!!!!!!!!!! =) Please God... be my justice. Coz Amy here is confused at how some people are just simply.... A the MAZE the ZING

I have learnt to just shut up. Coz I dowanna fight anymore....

I almost stared at the guy and took out my dictionary to explain the word "MORE" to him. Some people simply doesnt know that MORE pickles doesnt exactly mean two slices more when there's only two slices to began with!!!! URRGHHH so angry

Came back home and cant find the chords of the song that I wanna sing. Tao yan.....

Frustrated reading that email.... that I bombed my lecturer's email. Sore Thumb once again....

Deep down nobody wants to hear it.... especially when it hits close to home... but sometimes we just have to tell the truth....

See the entire ups and downs of my thoughts? yeah.... that's Me for now. Sucks to be me? really it does. SERIOUSLY.

It's a crappy Wednesday......

I pray that I will walk in Victory soon....

silence is a virtue?

2009-06-29T00:13:00.000-07:00

Have been wanting to blog for the longest time... but each time as I try to type my thoughts out, they start to turn pretty personal... and the thought of bloggin disappear.... I cant share with anyone, no one...

Been feeling really under the weather these few days.... everything has been very quiet... even myself...

Right.

I'm quiet all the time.

Thanx

*cranky-ness shining all the way through*

The other day, I realised I stop reflecting on alot of things in the car now. Most of the times in the car driving are used to "rest". Driving as become so much a part of me that... i think I can drive frm home to work, work to school or church, to Sash's house, back home.... WITH MY EYES CLoSEd.... So, I rest my body.... other than the hand and legs that are so used to the gear changes, stop and go....

No, I am not sleeeping while I am driving.... just... well.. alot of STONING going on

Not Good....

I dowan to be just functioning.... I wanna look forward to each brand new day that the Lord has blessed me with, with a purpose in life, to touch lives and go the extra mile for the people I am with. To bring smiles unto their faces. how then can I do that when I have a hard time getting myself to do it?

WAs sharing with my office cell that.... I dislike the routine part of life.... Thank God for the opportunity to help out at CCSS Charity Golf 2009. Thank God for bringing me outta the routine to Eunos every morning. Yeap! even for the fact that I had to be at Laguna National Golf Club at 7:15. I rushed there like M.A.D and guess wad... I was the earliest... -.-

I need another, let's go for ice cream trip again...... and no... not the let's go... say... next tuesday kinda thing... it's the... let's go NOW kinda thing...

Then again... maybe I need my massage......... GGGGAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Most of all.... I am craving for Jap food with my bestie.... :/

2009-06-12T05:41:00.000-07:00

My blog's dead!!! hahaha yeah... I know... and reason being I have so much to say but dunno where to start...

Oh well.... ALOT.... and I mean A-L-O-T has happened since we came back from Europe... and I guess it's been GOOD! really depends on how u see it actually.... and as usual... I would like to see it positively!! All happened for a reason... and for whatever reason it might be... I guess only God knows.

Another year has been added (and yesssss I know I am OLD... whatever) to my life and I must say that these past few years has really been a journey with God, with Sash, with family, with friends, with ministry and with colleagues. and of coz... life's full of ups AND downs... abd that includes mine... but well... Thank God.... anyway =) Thank YOUS to all those who has wished me a happy/blessed birthday! and thankz so so much to my cell group for giving me the loving 7 dwarfs and card and cake!! =) Feel so LOVED!! and of coz... my loved ones who tried so hard to prepare those candles for me!!! =) so cool! For ONE sec (hahahaha! they will know why) I felt like Mer from GA hahaha

it has come to a point where I cant run and I cant hide... worse still I cant raise my voice... it's just a matter of time when i hv to come straight with it... may God bless me with added grace and added wisdom... I hav a strong feeling that's something He is forcing me to learn....

the time has come

2009-04-22T22:58:00.000-07:00

the time has come for ROME!!! and then Venice, Switzerland, Amsterdam, Germany, Paris, London!!! whichever order it is in! hahaha LALALALA *dance around in excitement* ooOOoOooYAY!!

Have been really busy clearing work from work these few days. I needa breathe!! not fogetting spending hours thinking what I should wear when I am there! imagine..... i take about an hour to get ready everyday.... getting ready to spend 15 days in Europe is a pain! hehehe

my sister and I are determined not to look like a TOURIST hahaha although that fact cant really be change since.... we are following a tour group!

Well.... I hope this break to Europe will be a good one for mummy. and I'll take this as a break for myself too!!! =)

Island Creamery was really fun!! with really fun company! best part was the ice cream, the kiddy ride, the picture taking, the laughs. hahaha that's ALL of it!! =) oh well.. I want more!!

I am glad we stayed on and talk. it was well... good. looking forward to what's going to happen from that talk onwards. it felt like a release.... and I wanna work towards to make days better! I know I can and I know I will

I feel so loved!!

Amy.....

2009-04-01T09:37:00.000-07:00

Amy wonders if he's against her or has she not learnt her lesson....

Amy knows that he is never against her so... it's probably because she hasnt learnt her lesson.....

Amy is sorry for being so cranky on her off day....

Amy feels like something is wrong but is not doing anything about it.....

Amy feels that it isnt right but... no buts....

Amy wants to do something about it but dunno how to go about doing it....

Amy feels like maybe she is not in the position to do it....

Amy thinks maybe someone else will do a better job than her (*OUCH* SOrry Big Daddy... yes yes... I felt that slap on my back.... yes yes Staff devotion message... got it got it....)

Amy really liked staff devotion sharing today...!

Amy really liked the opportunity to just share and facilitate in office cell grp today (but no, no thank you... once is enough)

Amy likes the song "The Power of Your Name" by Lincoln Brewster featuring Darlene...

Amy stands in awe of His majesty listening to the ultrasound heartbeat...

Amy knows that He created her in His own likeness and it is good...

Amy knows that she is wonderfully made by her Big Daddy...

Amy knows that she is already overspending....

Amy is repeating the song "The power of Your name", on her playlist....

Amy thought they were all truths but they end up to be just lies.... through the teeth....

Amy missed her opportunity to hang out with Yongyee this week and it doesnt feel good...

Amy misses her time in aussie land and really wanna go back....

Amy misses her aussie friends darn alot...

Amy wants to fly to Philippines to meet her friends...

Amy wants to stay in places that makes her feel like home and make her happy but she cant and she has to stay because Big Daddy says no.... at least for now...

Amy wants to be a beach bum all her life...

Amy wants to have a beach house....

Amy is happy to hear that it will be a decision made together and not alone...

Amy is praying for greater things in her life... Bring me to higher grounds Lord!!

Amy then realised maybe he is already doing it, but just not what she wants and she's probably in denial...

Amy felt that maybe she let the opportunity past and is in a slight regret...

Amy wants to take a day and go out and have a good photography session with her 450D!

Amy now finds it hard to believe what is said...

Amy wants to live to carry Your compassion

Amy wants to love the world that's broken

Amy wants to be Your hands and feet...

Amy wants to give with the life that she's been given and go beyond religion...

Amy wants to see this world be change.... By the Power of Your Name....

Amy loves to hang out with her sister tgt in her room just chill, play games and laugh out loud tgt....

Amy has so many nicknames for facebook for the rest of the year.... HAHAHAH That was not planned!!! =P

Amy Amy....

Amy's outta here....

Smelly and frustrated

2009-03-22T03:29:00.001-07:00

Short post. I promise.

I swallowed what was said on that afternoon. Sash did so. I bet Franklin will do so if he was there. We all kept quiet. Not wanting to fight back because we don't wanna talk too much. Difficult to swallow? Kinda. Is it okie? let them say what they want. Let them run their mouth for all the want. They are all the same (except for some la I must say). Well.. OUCH... it's okie. We don't walk alone anyway.

Sunday morning news went out and I was like HA!! well done! I couldn't wait to watch the match highlights and well, I did. Smelly? Darn smelly. Frustrated? Darn frustrated. HAHA Let me tell you what a smile it brought to my face when I see the frustration getting into his face, and his face and his face. I smiled and I laughed and I cheered when a goal was scored against them.

They are not a club that cannot be defeated. All the rest need to know, is that it IS do-able. Come on all... trashed them. Time for them not to be SO arrogant.

Whether Liverpool win or not today, it's okie (they better win la)... To me, it's the look on their faces. Sounds like I'm more an enemy than a Liverpool fan. But seriously, I cant stand the attitude..... seriously......

confusingly tired

2009-03-18T05:27:00.000-07:00

I dunno what kind of a title that is. But that is what I was. Last week was both a BLAST! and BLEAH....

It was supposed to be my happy week!!

SUnday - Seafood dinner with special guest at G7 with mum, dad and sis. Been so long since we have a proper dinner as a family. Again... God's sovereignty, majesty, grace and favour =)

Monday - I forgot what I did.... =(

Tuesday - got rid of my presentation and feeling relax about it. last lesson lo....!!! =)

Wednesday - Met up with YY!! although only for a short dinner, it was okie! pleased to simply meet up with my dearie girl even though she tua-ed me. hahaha she got a conference call to attend last min. oh well.. I'm okie of coz =) we finally got to eat our MA MAISON!!! we tried booking like 3 times and it was full HOUSE!! spent some time shopping before heading back home. +) great night!! =)

Thursday - Met up with YY again!! Double dose!! aint it great? that girl felt bad about asking me to go home at 9am the day before... so... since she was free since her friends couldnt meet her in the end... and we went to VIVO City!! yay! bought my top. tried like alot of tops in F21 but didnt buy any. =) coolness!!! =) although we were super pissed off at the SUPERDOG eatery because they forgot about our order!!! not so much abt being hungui... but becoz of that! we didnt have much time to shop!! bleah!!!

Friday - was on MC coz was down with flu. slept the whole day. Sash took me to the doctors and well... felt so loved =) was pretty cranky since thursday and was very nua about alot of things... had a nice simple lunch at home ;) and a great show afterwards. though I fell in and outta slp inbetween. was still good!!! love u!!! =) Evaluation week at cell was good. we had a great time fellowshipping and just toking nonsense =)

Saturday - Wedding!! kaypo-ed with the floral decorations and took some pictures with my 450D =) awesome!! then...... best part of the night? MAN U WAS TRASHED IN THEIR OWN BACK YARD 1-4 by LIVERPOOL!!! how awesome is that?!?! hehehe stupid rooney said in a report that he HATE LIVERPOOL before the match. precisely the reason why I dun like MAN U and their fans... hooligans and nasty pigs.... PHUIz....... where's ur grace and gentleman-ness? oh crap.... how would hooligans know anything abt that anyway? HA.... go take the title for all u want. what matters to me, and i believe alot of liverpool fans --> that man u simply lost badly to liverpool. maybe they can have some pride back IF they win the title. oh well... they are living up to their name.... the red DEVILS.... go to hell then, that's where u belong anyways..!

Sunday - it was a nice lunch before heading back home to laze and do some tidying. yes.. debz.. i heard you.... ur mouse still cant move... yes i know... then dun move lo hehehehee bleah

so... what's the BLEAH part? intertwined inbetween the happy things I talked abt were the angui and BLEAH BLEAH stuff.... again... I only wanna report HAPPY things!! was sharing with one person that I felt so bipolar the entire week... when's its supposed to be my HAPPY WEEK!!! Darn.... and God... I'm tired from all these ups and downs..... really really tired....

2009-03-08T21:04:00.000-07:00

never would I have thought that it would actually happened. I sat there thinking of everything that had happened over the past years and now the laughter and enjoyment there was at the dinner table, I couldn't help but just be in awe of God's greatness. Mercy. Grace. Favour. In awe that my Big Daddy had everything in control. In awe that He was orchestrating everything. In awe that it actually happened right before my eyes. Great? Awesome? Ecstatic? Those are simply understatements...

it's almost there Amy.... it's almost there. I have learnt to just place the timing in His hands.

God.... I am so grateful... I have no idea wat else to say..... but Thank you...

The RAINBOW after the rain

2009-02-15T19:19:00.000-08:00

¹² And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: ¹³ I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. ¹⁴ Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, ¹⁵ I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. ¹⁶ Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth."

I went for Rainbows Facilitators Training over the Sat and Sun afternoon and it was a fruitfully training =) We learnt how to facilitate a Rainbows program for children who has experience the loss of a parent through either death or divorce or separation.

There was this part of the program where we have to do role playing and one of my group member has to be the facilitator. Well, the rest of us are 13 and 14 year old girls from single parent family. Becoz it is role playing, I identified a character for the 13/14 year old and acted upon it. HA! It was SO FUN!!! But I touched some very sensitive issues and one of the group member started crying because she was showing empathy for the things that "I" go through. I WAS STUNNED!! I LITERALLY WAS... at the end of it, I explained that it was just a role play and it was not my personal experience. I was apologizing for making that participant cry!!! GGGAAAHHH...... I also explained that these are just some of the children who are really out there crying out for help and some times, in my line of work.... I do empathize with these kids and I do wanna cry when I hear their stories too... but I still feel very bad for making her cry becoz of a ROLE PLAY...!! GAHHHH.......... then she briefly commented that I was a fake.... GGGAHHHH..... I was just acting.... ACTING!!! oh well....

RAINBOW??? NICE =)

I pulled out a girl's teeth last friday hahaha third time already and I am not scared any more hahaha I wonder if it will start to become like a norm hehehehe

I SAW A FULL RAINBOW!!!! and half one above!!! so nice!!!! =) =)

TOUGH

2009-02-08T01:16:00.000-08:00

happy things happy things... happy things happy things.... !!

guess wad?! my dear YY was online at 10ish on a SAT night and I was like ?!???? O.O so we talked and my dear girl was craving for twister fries and she suddenly had this, let's do it the aussie way!! HA!! my FAVOURITE!!! was telling sam that I need some excitement in my life and TADA!!! I went to bathe, got ready and by the time I reached her house, it was close to 12 am... and well... WHO CARES?! felt like back in those aussie days when we just took the keys and walk to hungry jacks in a snap of the fingers *snap*. the only difference is now, her house is abt 13 mins away and maccas is 10 mins away from her place... and well... WHO CARES?! AHHhh.... I have done it again!!! this time it was YY!!!!! AWESOME!!!! hahahaha *dance around in excitement* lalalalala lalalalala Well, although the reason of her asking me was the fact that her bf was NOT AROUND!!!! *humph!* I still went for the sake of hanging out with my bestie!! =) hahaha not that I am bothered for the fact that she's only asking me out becoz her bf was not around hahaha AAAhhhhh THANK YOU YY!!! for bringing some excitement in my life ;)

got back in time to watch the match between Portsmouth and Liverpool. Without Torres, without Stevie G what will Liverpool do.... I decided to sleep at the 85mins when Liverpool is down 2-1.... well.... I just caught the match highlights online and I learnt something from this match.... amazing... God uses SOCCER to teach me stuff HA! what a humorous Daddy I have....

Portsmouth scored their first GOAL at 61min

Due to a mistake by Portsmouth, Liverpool was given a free kick in the penalty box area and Aurelio SCORREEE!!!! at the 69th min, Liverpool fought back 1-1

Game play on, unfortunately, Portsmouth scored their second GOAL at 85th min... (at this point, I have already dozed off quite a few times, so i decided to head to bed instead)

Torres cleverly passed the ball to Kuyt surprising everyone and Kuyt SCCCOOORRREEE!!!! equaliser at the 88th min. Will Liverpool settle for a draw?? There's still time.... Will Liverpool win this game in the final 2 mins? the stoppage time has started, 3 mins for Liverpool to play....

Mascherano to Benayoun...... to Mascherano..... and then once again to Benayoun... cross to Torres and Torres SCCCCCOOORRRRREEEEESSS!!!!!!!!!!!! =) * jumps up in excitement!!!*

seriously, my heart was pumping so hard even when I am watching the highlights online, and... the thing is........ I already know the score. hahaha silly meeeee

Yes!!!! I am excited for the fact that Liverpool won!!! and I was happy that I watched the highlights of the goals again and again.... and after some time..... I saw....... their PERSEVERANCE.... the team that was holding together even when their captain was not around... they fought and they won... at 85th min and down 2-1... everyone would think that they are gone for sure... well.. unless the team is Man u, coz of all the match I have watched, they are prolly the one team who is able to comeback and win such a game. Liverpool did it, with their PERSEVERANCE.... and THEY WONN!!!! WOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!! =)

When everything else seems dark, there's always this light that we can look towards to.

It was tough... really tough... I wanted to just walk away and forget about it after the first try.... but I didnt.... and I am glad I didnt.... I somehow saw it coming and has been preparing myself for it, how to face it, how to handle it and how to deal with it... with grace.... It was tough.... but again.... I am glad I did it anyway =) was much better towards the end. Thank God!!! PERSEVERANCE....

Amy finds it really strange that there are people who acts strangely and Amy dont want to be bothered by it coz Amy just want to concentrate on HAPPY THINGS!!

happy things happy things... happy things happy things.... !! *in the tune of my own*

Pamper

2009-01-20T23:02:00.000-08:00

SOmeone asked me the other day what would it be like to pamper me... well... straight away I said just lying in the sun with me the entire day would be to pamper me! then that someone replied... "so easy?"

hahahaha well... after much thought, that's the GIST of it! hehehehe what would pamper me?

Bring me to a beach resort (doesnt really matter which one as long as it has beautiful beaches and a clear sky), hang around in the morning, have free flow of ICED (this is important) fruit punch/cranberry juice/mango juice/pineapple juice, some finger food to go along with (wedges/chicken wings/nachos sounds good!), soft music (not too loud coz I wanna hear the sound of the waves and the wind), a good book (Max Lucado's easy-to-read book like "Everyday deserves a chance"), then after some tanning, proceed to have a beachside massage for 90mins (full body one please!), then continue with the tanning again. To tone the day down, a full body scrub and a good soak in the bath tub would be PERFECT!! Oh! make sure there is GREAT company too! *winks*

AHhhHHhh then I will feel very pampered MUAHAHAHA!! at first I was thinking of things like... Facial, medicure, pedicure, a GOOD dinner.... but then... well... not necessary... the above mentioned will be GREAT to make my day. the rest would just be bonus! HA! =)

Oh.. I'm blogging again! That's GOOD!! =)

Your Blog's DEAD!!!

2009-01-18T23:32:00.000-08:00

YOUR BLOG'S DEAD!!!

Yes I know... in fact, it wasnt the fact that I have nothing to blog about that made it dead. It was the fact that I have SOOO many things to blog about that I dunno where to start or even when I start, I dunno how is it going to end... YEah? U got the idea?

First up!! CHRISTMAS!!! oh MAn! I thank GOD for the BLAST and the fact that I am still in AN ENTIRE PIECE!! Seriously... although I have ALOT to learn from this experience... I am still grateful to my BIG DADDY for His GRACE and MERCY towards me and the overall production! there are of coz the ups and the downs. But it's all for Him! and YY came with her bf!!! hehehe I was so happy for the fact that she actually came and the icing on the cake? to hear my best friend say how proud is she of me. She knows where I have been and how I have grown. THANK YOU YONGYEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! *HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS* x 10000000 MUAHAHA

Oh, my lecturer came and did a review with me soon after and he said about how he has seen me grow from the first one I did to this one, well... "I'm so proud of you and how you have grown" !! *BIIG HUMONGOUS SMILE* =) =) I really really thank God for him (and many other people) and the way he has taught me over the years. His life and ministry has definitely touched and impacted me! and Sash's gonna say I'm sucha Paulet! HA! He shared with me alot of things and I have alot of things to look at... really... a deep hard look at things.. things which can never be shared.... here hahaha

then it was .... on the fateful 31st DEC. on a bright and sunny day when I was tanning under the hot sun before goin to get ready to prepare to go out before going to church =) the call came and I was shocked... shocked about the news I've heard and well... the rest is history. =) Happy girl am I!

sadly.... nothing seems to be going on well after than... the elephant glue was much needed over the last 3 weeks of this new year... each time when I tot it was working well... it fell apart again... after the third time... I am determined to just let God's love heal the cracks... I am determined also to claim the blessings we have the claim the things that I ask for every morning when I wake up =)

Meeting up with YY for two weeks in a row was.... AWESOME!!! man I love her company and guess wad?! I think I am her end-of-her-day entertainment too! AHhHHh... I cannot forget the foot reflexology!!! GAAAAhhh... I am already missing it even though it's been only ONE DAY! hehehehe we've been toking abt the times we had in australia... thinking if stupid suburds names that we cannot remember... and how we have switched roles over the course of time... I am so glad that we though we havent met for months, nor see each other nor hear each other nor tok much to each other, we are still the same when we finally meet up! =) my good old friend. whom I know.. that I am going to tok abt babies with next time and how our children behave when we reach 50 haha ;) LOve her to bIts!!

Okk! that's all for now! Ta!~

Compromise

2008-11-30T17:09:00.000-08:00

I asked myself if she has compromised.... as I heard the complains about the what nots... and I asked myself again... if she has compromised.... Why does she have to go through all that...? The things has she sacrificed... I was.... *sigh...* my sister went... "are you going to stop her if she really does it?" I was praying so hard it is not going to happen... then I found myself unable to watch after all... Would I go and grab her and ask her not to do it?

Has she compromised way more than she should??

Why... if she then why....? why did she do it...? why cant she just dropped everything... we had the same childhood aspirations... it brings tears to my eyes knowing that she aint pursuing that anymore... I asked if she has compromised.....

then the question was directed back to me....

How about myself....? Have I also compromised way more than I should??

It was like a LET'S GO sorta thing and I totally enjoyed myself!! although half way through, the reality of my laptop not with me and the fact that I have no idea where I left it had caused the ice cream to melt alittle bit (I spent quite abit of time trying to think thru wad happened... wad a ditz....), plus the fact that I was sitting there figuring out if I actually took it outta the office, which I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA of! I still enjoyed those udders!! and base on the fact that it wasnt with someone whom I'd usually hang out with! that spontaneity, that let's go and let's do it anyhow, that I feel like having it so let's drive there now even though it's going to close in 30 mins time! it just brings that life back to my life. everything has been so expected and the I knew it's going to happen is killing me!! Although I love the stability of things.. I love those, let's drive to sunnybank to buy bubble tea and those, let's drive down and look for the big mega sale in this unventured suburb anyway and those, Dominoes is closing in 30 mins so let's go order some supper and those, let's head down to the beach in the afternoon (without any worries that it will ever rain) and those, movie is starting in 45 mins, quick we can catch the next bus down JUST in time and those, let's just drive down sunshine coast with no agenda and see where we shall stop and see....... GGGAAAAHHHH..... I miss..... really really really miss those times... I was brought down the trip of missing the boys again.... GGGGGAAAAAAHHHHHH.....

BTW, I found my laptop.... just right at where he said it would be... ON my office table.....

Staff dinner was great! wrapped in prayer for next year, laughter and fun during games although most of the people at the table were from other TCC departments, everyone loving the BIG God we have, funny pictures with people dressing up in BIG costumes, buffet style dinner in the hotel ballroom (I have enuff of the sit down and eat a 8-course meal type of dinner), everybody in smiles and applause for the awards to those who served 5-yrs, 10yrs, 15yrs, 20yrs and one 25yrs. that it's not for the sake of our name but for God's name ALONE attitude.... WOW.... I spoke to God a little something there and then... There's something which I want... and I asked... But I know, at the end of the day... it's still His will and not mine be done... My inspiration stood up there and I went WOW... in awe... of someone whom I look up to A WHOLE LOT... I want.... Lord, please grant me my desire.... I asked.....

I dun like to be pushed to my other friends and then in the end looked as if I didnt care..... actually... I hate that feeling...

My Barnabas is not around at the moment........ =(

I'm Yours

2008-11-16T10:29:00.000-08:00

Do Dop Dop dop dop dop dop~ hmmmmmm.....

Totally in love with the song I'm yours by Jason Mraz =)

OKie! So, I am almost done with James 5 and I am working on the earlier shift tmr since.. THE SCH HOLS has started!!! =) We will all survive, we always do anyway! =) God is great!

Exams are in a few days, in countable hours!! I admit... I had better days towards my school work.....

"If it's from You, let her come to me" has been on my mind really often lately. Really alot lately...

"Am I invited?" has been a question that I have repeated till... I dun feel "it" when I hear the reply or know what the reply is going to be... to the point where I know... how can that ever happen... ha...

Interestingly, last sunday before I headed to church, I was thinking of the Thai food restaurant at Purvis St and guess wad?!?! for once, they decided to go there besides the normal foodcourt food. this sunday, I was thinking of Vivo city on saturday nite and u got it rite!! they mentioned Vivo city! oh man... how did that happen??! hahaha they would usually go to places like.. bugis, marina, PS, yah... places like tt... but 2 weeks in a row? hahaha can someone spell coincident??

a bad week?

2008-11-09T09:27:00.000-08:00

Went to chill at Henderson waves. Didnt think that my camera would take really good pictures, so I took these pictures from www.singaporeshots.com =) It's the same place anyway... It's really a beautiful place to chill out and really cooling and breezy and away from the city life you'd normally see. What a pity we didnt take any pictures... but just finding one spot and chilling there was nice enough. Wasnt really a smooth chat all the way... but it was still the most beautiful part of my weekend. I want to go again! =)

My week hasnt been really good, other than the fun and funny carecell we had last friday. everything seem so unmotivated... I kept asking God questions after questions... time for me to sit down and be still and listen to Him...

To many things that are too personal to blog them out... on my way home... I asked Him... where are my Aarons, Hurs and Barnabas?....... I cant fight this alone... And it's too REAL....

OverWhelming is the word to use

2008-10-20T22:00:00.000-07:00

OVERWHELMING

"very intense; overpowering in strength; to surge and submerge"

Overwhelming is the word....

I feel like a typical singaporean at a buffet restaurant. took a plate and starts to go round the buffet table and piling my plate with food.

Overwhelming is the word....

Recently I was at SKS bookshop and chit chatted with the sales assistant over there, coz i needed help in some selection. I caught myself saying tht I am trying to find the joy in mist of all these that are happening... ooppz...

Overwhelming is the word....

I was sharing with her about him and wads bothering me.... and I am determined to stick to the deadline... she said I will never do it... I will wait and wait and wait and wait...

Overwhelming is the word....

A couple of lessons I have learnt over the last week... I am holding on to it for the fact that it's not my thing, neither is it a good thing, nor its a glamourous thing but it's a GOD thing...

SO Lord, please can I order some Aarons and Hurs, together with some Barnabas. Delivered as and when you think its the right time??

Overwhelming is actually a choice word... However you see the situation, that will be it.

I was researching for some lesson materials online and came across this...

CAREER COLOUR TEST!!

quite fun !! http://www.careerpath.com/career-tests/colorcareercounselor.aspx

the results like quite accurate to what I wanna do le!!! hahaha

here is goes....

BEST OCCUPATIONAL CATEGORY 

You're a CREATOR  Key Words: Nonconforming, Impulsive, Expressive, Romantic, Intuitive, Sensitive, and Emotional These original types place a high value on aesthetic qualities and have a great need for self-expression. They enjoy working independently, being creative, using their imagination, and constantly learning something new. Fields of interest are art, drama, music, and writing or places where they can express, assemble, or implement creative ideas.  CREATOR OCCUPATIONS Suggested careers are Advertising Executive, Architect, Web Designer, Creative Director, Public Relations, Fine or Commercial Artist, Interior Decorator, Lawyer, Librarian, Musician, Reporter, Art Teacher, Broadcaster, Technical Writer, English Teacher, Architect, Photographer, Medical Illustrator, Corporate Trainer, Author, Editor, Landscape Architect, Exhibit Builder, and Package Designer. CREATOR WORKPLACES Consider workplaces where you can create and improve beauty and aesthetic qualities. Unstructured, flexible organizations that allow self-expression work best with your free-spirited nature. Suggested Creator workplaces are advertising, public relations, and interior decorating firms; artistic studios, theaters and concert halls; institutions that teach crafts, universities, music, and dance schools. Other workplaces to consider are art institutes, museums, libraries, and galleries. 

2ND BEST OCCUPATIONAL CATEGORY 

You're an ORGANIZER  Key Words: Self-Control, Practical, Self-Contained, Orderly, Systematic, Precise, and Accurate These conservative appearing, plotting-types enjoy organizing, data systems, accounting, detail, and accuracy. They often enjoy mathematics and data management activities such as accounting and investment management. Persistence and patience allows them to do detailed paperwork, operate office machines, write business reports, and make charts and graphs.

Suddenly I feel if I am in the right job or not.. hahaha OH WELL!!! I wanna dance dance dance dance!!!

Miracle still happens!!

2008-10-03T09:31:00.000-07:00

I tot I witness a biblical miracle...

Last saturday was Rice Distribution!! Prior to Saturday, the staff went out on Wednesday to give out flyers to the neighbourhood, to chit chat and also interview interview the area. Was very new to me as I am not stationed in the headoffice, but nonetheless, I was getting hyped up as I go from house to house =) oh yes.. I already mentioned that in my last post =) hehehe

So SO!! came Saturday! I am the overall IC for 3 blocks of flats!!! I almost fainted knowing that on Friday! hahaha Well.... So, what has tt gotta do with witnessing a biblical miracle? =)

I have a bunch of volunteers who already sorta knew each other, which was good! so there were 3 pairs of them and me la =) wanting to give them a true good volunteering experience, I decided to let the 3 pairs go up and do the rice distribution while I will stay downstairs to JAGA the rice =) although I really wanted to go up and present the rice to them, see them smile, hear them say thank you and just, being a blessing to them. SO!! staying down to JAGA is also being a blessing to the community, that I know =) So I did! while the rest of them went up, I stood downstairs and looked up at the block.. did some mental calculations... there's 12 units on one level, there are 10 levels (including the ground floor). that makes it 120 units... then there's the rice... each big pack has 40 and every block was given 6 big pack.. that makes... 240 packets of 500g rice. Each household was blessed with 1kg. looking at mathematics, there should be JUST enuff for every household to get 1kg from us. JUST ENUFF... or so they say... the volunteers went up, came down to replenish, went up and came down... they were told at the beginning that there will be households where there will not be anyone ard during the time of distribution, in situations like this, we are free to give more to those household which we think needs more. So, they did. I saw one volunteer gave a household 2 kg! thats fine and great! =) they came down saying that they also slotted rice packets to those household where there was no answer. hmmmm... there was 240 packets just enuff for every household to receive ONE kg... then one volunteer saw some construction workers and went away with 6 500g-packets. told us she gave them all out to 6 construction workers. then there was this uncle who was staying at some other block but was walking and stopping and staring at us giving out rice, after a small chat, I decided to just give him 2 packets (1kg) anyway... we were left with nothing.

What puzzled me was... we gave out extras, we left at people's door steps... we gave to construction workers, we gave to some uncle who were staying at another block... didn't we... had JUST ENUFF for the 120 units in that block..? such that every household gets ONE kg?? marvelled at His work... I was reminded of the 5 barley loaves and 2 fish... and the 5,000 man and the 12 baskets full.......... WOW!!!!! and yet, it sends shivers down my spine... =) could it be happening right before my eyes???

I am so glad people like Shuai, Samantha, Clarissa, Lucas, Eugene, Janice, Huimin, Cheryl, Kenneth and Sashi!! came to volunteer with us!! although if they had submitted their names much earlier, they wld prolly all be placed under me. but I am glad that at least my colleague paired them up and put them in different blocks! hearing from most of them, I am truely glad that they enjoyed themselves and want MORE!!

I really felt like challenging his comment today. What exactly did he see? but in the end, I decided not to and to keep it coollleeeeeeeeeyyyyoooooozzzzz =) =) Oh well, I shouldnt be challenging him

MY LIFE

2008-09-24T04:50:00.000-07:00

My Life is so....!!! S.......L........O........T.........H........I..........S..........H..........

I need something to pump myself up!!

But I was kinda pumped up while doing the door to door leaflet distribution this morning with the rest of my colleagues! It was kinda fun as I was tryin to explain the fact that we are from Care Community Services Society (try saying that in Mandarin!! I was pee-leee-paaa-laaa-ing I doubt they know wad that whole chunk was!! hehehehe ) and we are giving free 1KG rice for every household on saturday, and all you needa do is to stay at home from 9:30 to 12pm ---- once in hokkien and 3 times in Malay! me Malay?! hahaha it was all zheee-tek zheee-tek (one piece one piece) well... good on me for getting all the information across with PAGI(morning), BERAS(rice) / NASI, PERCUMA(free) and SABTU (saturday)!!! hahaha it was so fun I was laughing at myself!! =) then when they tried to ask me some questions, I was like... TA-TA-WWuuUU. I know they are all not accurrate but who cares?! I saw smiles on their faces!! =) I think they are smiling at my SUPER ULTRA BROKEN MALAY hahahaha FUN FUN!!!

need such outta routine things to keep me going!! then back to school was back to normal for me....

my late nights trying to finalise the script is getting on me!!! So many loose end to tie up!!! UURRRRGGGHHHH!!!

2008-09-22T10:00:00.000-07:00

I decided to take a break and well.. blog =)

I really enjoyed myself in worship on friday... and sunday. No matter how tired I may be, I wanna praise Him all the days of my life. Let the worship in my heart comes out through my lips.

I am still so proud of them all =)

Alot of things has been happening and I just took it with a pinch of salt... at least... I am trying... outta nowhere Max was online and he told me this...

AMy.. if Christians are all birds, usually the leaders are like eagles.. (eg Amy)

they usually fly so so high lo

Not many birds can match tat.so..

it can be a lit lonely at times

But... just wanna encourge u tat we will do our part to help in the Christmas play

Another one that I always hear is, leadership is like a multi-storey carpark, the higher level you go, the lesser cars there will be. Maybe some of you might not agree with me, but I agree to what were said to a certain extend

Anyhow, I was so touched by that message. God really knows how to sent people my way to encourage me. An SMS to ask me dont stress! someone who asked me if I need any prayer, someone who just prayed without even me asking.

The question I posted the worship team this week... was abt the time when they actually stand amazed at His work in their lives. When was the last time you encountered that?

I stand amazed at Your glory... so much so... I couldnt even open my lips... such dense power... amazed til my lips were sealed

GOOD MORNING!!

2008-09-08T09:19:00.000-07:00

Was a good monday morning to start out my week =) yeap! spending some time together with God blows the blues away =)

Proverbs 8:35 - "For whoever finds me find life and receives favour from the Lord"

Colossians 1:12 - "giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light"

He doesnt call the qualified, He qualifies the called!

Are u feeling like u cant do anything? well... truth is.. U are RIGHT!! you cant do nothing!! but guess wad! GOD CAN!! and it's only through His strength we can do all things! You can think can breathe on ur own? guess wad?! you are wrong!! You cant! it's God who enabled you to! He allowed you to take one more breathe! and for the pass few seconds that u have read my blog, He has allowed you to breathe so many times already! ARENT YOU GLAD?? =)

I am beginning this phase of my life that everything I have is a BONUS to me. the fact that I have a car to drive in, is a bonus to me. the fact that I can serve Him in church is a bonus to me. the fact that I can juggle so many things is a bonus to me. the fact that I have a job is a bonus to me. the fact that I am paid is a bonus to me, doesnt matter how much I am paid, it is still a bonus!! the fact that I get to hang out with my friends is a bonus to me. the fact that I am able to type my assignment is a bonus to me. the fact that I am stretched til I sometime thinks I am getting too stretched for comfort is a bonus to me. the fact that I get to fill my stomach is a bonus to me. the fact that I have a roof over my head and a bed to slp in is a bonus to me. the fact that I get 5 hours of slp everday is a bonus to me!! u get the point.... the fact that I get to breathe my next breath is a bonus to me! Life seem like it's filled with bonuses everyday and all day!! it's not denial or self deception. coz.... without the things that He has provided for me, I am ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! =) the fact that I live another day is a bonus to me! =)

and so I feel so blessed to have what I already have in life. *punches fist in the air* they are all things that have been added to my life by God's grace!!

YAY!!! I really enjoyed doing the creative performance tonite!! it was awesomely great!!! MAN!! but it all happened so fast I cant even be in awe of it!!! wad an instant and its over! hehehe but still!! I realy enjoyed doing things like tt for God! can never be better to use my body language as an act of worship unto Him! I really dunno how to describe how happy I am! hehehe =) =) I WANNA DO MORE AND MORE OF THIS!!! It was great working with Kim, Paul and Paul! =) I want more!!! hehehehe

I have alot of things to blog about but... nah.... =)

btw, I had a great time laughing tonite!! =) CHEERED UP!!

topless?

2008-09-01T08:55:00.000-07:00

It's been a year and I havent seen it before... can go topless so I can see? hahaha miss ng... tt was so wrongfully funny =)

been so fruitfully busy last week!! =) Good!! though i managed to only catch 5 hours of sleep everyday... I think I spent my days well! busy but well!!

I am really telling myself alot of things to get me going!

Recruitment publicity is out!! SOILY'S FAMOUS!!!! right Sam? hehehe YES!!!! hahaha I was told that Sam went "THAT'S my SOIL!!!" when she saw the video.... which was cute haha another video to add to my profile! I am satisfied as it was pretty much wad we wanted! hope the message was brought across. It isnt too difficult to understand... I hope... hahaha oh well, what can I say but PRAISE GOD!!

Was telling Felvin how the amount of petrol that cost me over the two nights equals to the amt of petrol I'd use to go to and fro work for ONE WEEK!!

I have been praying and praying for them... I dunno why... alot of uncertainty.... alot of I dunnos... but I am just praying...

LEADER'S DAY was FRIDAY!! Having not seen them for one week, I was excited to hang out with them at Botak Jones!! The first I've got was a chocolate flower from CHINWEI!! =) SO SWEET!! still didnt know wad it was, I just gladly accept it!! then came the purple, pink and yellow paper flower with a plastic flower in the middle! handmade by CHERRIE! AHH!! I love this girl!! =) SO SUPEEEEER SWEET!! cant help but just keep smiling and smiling! then came the "we are buying u dinner" HAHAHA AWWWWW!!!! I mean... AWWWW!! then afterwhich was the BEAR and the handmade CARD that writes "WE LOVE AMY" in front. AHHHH!!! instantly melted!! I mean... I melted like.... 1...2...3...4...5 TIMEZ!! then after reading those cards.... I melted again!! aiyoooo... so sweet... I LOVE THEM ALL!!! and I LOVE MY GROUPIES!!! =) then I realised oHHhh... they are celebrating Leader's day hehehehe I FEEL LOVED!!! =)

I WANNA PLAY TENNIS!!!! but I was so tired I finally crashed at 5... only waking up at 9 coz I was hungui!! =) oh well.... next time!

So.... I figured.... Frolick is not as good as Yami yogurt. I went to Holland V twice to try out some food and really dun hv a good impression of it... hahaha first was Cold Rock... now it's Frolick... nah.... hope it will be better the next time I go there and try out some stuff!!

speaking of Yami yogurt... I want tubs and tubs of it!

I think my teacher is so uncool to ask us to read 6 chapters of the textbook before coming in to class the following week... which is tmr! I hav done.. ONE chapter HEHEHEHE =P okie, I am not very serious abt the uncoolness =P But I dun think I can fulfill that.... so difficult to read so much within ONE week...

Many many things!!

2008-08-17T09:14:00.000-07:00

So Many things happened I dunno where to start!! hehehe U guys are so going to... ermmm.. feel like u are readin several blogs in this ONE post. hahaha

He got punished... I dunno why he as punished, but he was... I didnt give that punishment but I was the only one there to enforce it. So he had to mop the floor instead of writing many many lines. Sometimes I really think that writing lines can be so wasteful as I am sure many of them dun remember wad they write anywayz... putting them on time outs can be very distressing for the hyper active ones as it is not their make up to sit still for a period of time like 20 mins or so. thus, we allow them to clean the center as a form of punishment some of the times. the mop is twice his height an prolly weigh the same as him, I watched him mopped the center. He prolly aint going to mop it clean as it looked like just wetting the floor with the mop more than really mopping the floor clean. But I still let him do it anyway. After he was done, I took over and I started mopping the floor as its the weekend and I want to keep the place clean before the week end starts. Then he innocently asked me... "aunty Amy, why do u still have to clean it?" something struck me... yah... actually... I dont need him to mop the floor so that its clean... I can do it myself and I can fairly say that it will be cleaner... but... I still make sure he does it. on top of it being a punishment... it was also to teach him that there is always a consequence to the things he does. to teach him how to mop the floor (some of these kids has nv touched a mop before) as part of a life skill. but come to think about it... I dun hv to... then I got this... isnt this the same with God and us? He can do all the things by words that He speak, just like how he spoke life into everything on earth. just like how he spoke light into day. He can save all the souls by His power. why does He need us?? key thing here is... HE DOESNT!! He doesnt need us to do things for Him, in fact, whatever we do pales in comparison the things HE CAN accomplish! But in the midst of then things we do, we learn how to rely on Him for strength, it builds our character, it teaches us and mould us into what He want us to be. AMAZING!! I marvelled at how He can remind me and comfort me about HOW GREAT MY BIG DADDY IS even in the daily things in my work! THANK U!! =D

"Catching a fresh vision of God" I realised that, that was what I experienced the day before this sermon was preached. I have probably stand in front of those flags many many times. not once... not twice.. not even 10 times.. its MORE than that. But only things like... hey.. how come there's a turkey in the flag? is it a turkish flag? or... hey how come the label looks different, some of the paper look more yellow then the rest... or... haiz... those cloths... same position, same order... or.... they are simply non-existent to me most of the times. Yesterday during music prac... I looked at the stars on our national flag and my focuz drew back and there was the crescent... and my vision drew backwards further and I saw the whole row of flags... "All the nations will come and bow down before Me...." WOW!! Can u just imagine?! ALL the nations... not one, not two.. not only the Christian ones... not only the ones with more Christians in their demographic... but ALL... every single nation will come before Him. I marvelled! at His magnificent and His Majesty! =D *busk in God* =D

HAHAHA!! I have been spending alot of time outside what I could have concentrate on. mostly with SHUAI!!! MUAHAHAHa!! HAPPY la!!! =) like for Christmas and stuff... for school's performance etc etc etc! I am happy and embracing the things that God has placed in my hands right now and I am confident in Him to bring me through it all. Satan has no stronghold over God's children! *BLEAH BLEAH BLEAH* Let's see who has the last laugh. MUAHAHA okie... I sound really weird.

But we are on this LOVE LANGUAGE CRAZE right now, which was funny! haha

U said WE didnt try hard enough that was why... but I am proofing to you I CAN DO IT anyhow... the balls are now on UR COURT... I'll probably wait... I will wait til you are ready... but at the mean time... while waiting... if there's someone who can give me what I want from you, passes by... will I...? I dunno

Today SAm and I wore the exact same colour!!! LIME GREEN!! it has the colour of... lime sherbet! NICE!! so delicious I can eat!!! MUAHAHA!! then.. it was... SAME SAME!! but DIFFERENT!! hehehehe =) SO COOL CAN!!! =)

It was so FUN at Miss CLarity this evening! =) so glad to have Debz back =) the fellowship, the mud ooozz, the rings, the game HAHAHA the bet!! MUAHAHA!! SHuAI has no more say about me being OLD! NEH NEH NI BOO BOO hahaha

Insecurity

2008-08-13T09:12:00.000-07:00

BIPOLAR BIPOLAR BIPOLAR BIPOLAR BIPOLAR BIPOLAR BIPOLAR BIPOLAR!!!

Ups and downs Ups and Downs... uPs and dOwNs...!!!

the insecurities are setting in... did he not do it becoz he just wanna drag this on? maybe he isnt serious abt telling anyway... could he be so afraid that he is willing to put this aside for now? but why? why doesnt he has the courage to do so? why does he keep confessing that it is doom for sure? is he even serious about it at all...? mountains of questions starts pilling up.... why dont I get the kind of security other girls get...? Why do I feel like I am fighting against odds on my own...?

I stop fighting already... I stopped... I am not going to take that first step again... ever... coz I am tired... really dead beat from every aspect of my life right now... that I dowanna care about this anymore... if it dies... then let it be...

AHHHH!!! MONDAY!!! was like a gift from GOD! weather was SOOOOO GOOOD!! PERFECT to my liking! went to sentosa and just BUM!! like literally BUMMED!!! like slum into the beach tanning chair and stayed there for the entire 7 hrs!! hahaha! so cool can?!?! My happiest day in like so many months!!! nothing cheers me up more than seeing God rise the sun for me, clear the sky to reveal those blue background that He created!! the clouds that formed by His hands!! marvelled marvelled!!! I knw u guys think I am crazy for tt!! but thats how I relax myself and recharge for the many things ahead!! and I THANK GOD!!!! =) MUAHAHA!! AND I LOVE!!!! although you could have 2 cooked lobster by the end of the day =)

Tuesday rehearsal was SO FUN!!!! FUN FUN FUN FUN!!! though tired but FUN!!! AWESOMELY FUN!!! LIKE REALLY!!!! God was there once again! MARVELLED!!! so strong!! Again again!!!

same piece of news

2008-08-09T08:58:00.000-07:00

The same piece of news can bring about two very extreme reactions. after all... what she thinks still matters to me alot... maybe that was why it hurt me so bad to see that reaction... I am really trying to understand why she reacted the way she did. I remembered her telling me that I dont share alot of things with her... but yet when I did... I wish I havent done it... Under my blanket, I told God... if that is where He wants me to be for this period of time... let me face all prosecutions with His strength... let me overcome any temptations with His power... let me love those who do not understand with His love...

Staff devotion was powerful! It's not a question of, "Lord, why did u place me here?" BUT "Lord, what do u want me to do while I am here."

YAY!! I got clearance to attend rehearsal!! Thank God!! =)

Okie... We had our national day meeting today and loadsa brain cells were gone!! Offered to the Lord! hahaha loadsa laughter and fun =) but we are really running tight! but surprising we can still work with 5 smiles!! =) alot of datelines to meet!! but alot not our problem!! hahahahaha

I dowan to let the reaction affect the way I give to the Lord... really dowan to!!

it's been so long...

2008-08-04T09:16:00.000-07:00

I wanna go back to that couch... staring outta that window... in that beautiful room.. looking out at that serene surrounding... "Hosanna" playing in the background... suddenly.... it felt like time just stopped for that 20 mins or so... Just me and Big Daddy... It was so still I dunno how to describe... so peaceful... the busyness of life.... the desire to just slp 15 mins more has robbed away times like this with Big Daddy... how many times have we rush through even our quiet times with God? how many times have we rush through our prayer list as fast as we can so that we can get it over and done with? I treasure moments like this with Big Daddy... its like... just me and Him and nothing else... and I can marvel at His majesty and love and grace and creation and His very presence... It was such an intense quality time... If only we havent had to go for breakfast and check out, I would hv just stayed there longer

I said "Yes" and I felt so peaceful. I know the many things that are going to be ahead, the tough nights, and sleepy mornings... leisure being robbed away... beach bum no more... rising up to alot more things... still... after I said yes... there was this peace... despite the fact that it wasnt during the peaceful period that I had to made this decision... somehow, I know.. God is there and will be there. I hold on to the fact that He who had made me knows His every plans for me and has so much bigger things install for me

Tuesday!!! went for the first rehearsal for the creative performance for the 8th Sept APTA conference in TCC. YAAAAAYYY!!! It was SOOOOO fun!!! doing drama again!!! LALAlALALA HAIYAH!! u hav NOO... ABSOLUTELY NO idea how excited I am!! =) and how much fun we had last night! LALALALALALA =) Despite of everything, God was there, which was SO COOL!! I mean.... like for real.... I can feel His presence. and the atmosphere there is just different. uplifting! even though everyone's tired from a day of activities. well... at least, I am doing it for Him and I am enjoying it!! mUAhAhAHa! *dances around in excitement* cant wait cant wait for the next rehearsal!! =)

was just doo doo doo doo doo-ing in the office today after staff devotion, in the tune of "deck the halls". Haw Jia ask whether it was abit too early hehehee then I went on to photocopy some worksheets for the children, went back to Haw Jia's desk and I SIGHed a big one... then she laughed... one min I was doo doo doo doo doo-ing the other min I was sighing... then I said... BIPOLAR.... hahahaha ooh my word.. I think I really am BIPOLAR!! hehehehe

GIFT

2008-07-13T08:50:00.000-07:00

Had my very first meeting today with the greatest, creative-est and funnest grp of people! I am glad they availed themselves to this project! we shall be the thermostats!! =)

although we deviate alot and went far from on track, throwing alot of random ideas around, bring up MiFIA, GodFather, terrorists, wardrobe was in the picture too, suddenly it was like as if we are planning for some Hollywood movie! hahaha, I felt that this session also kinda open us up and at least we try to be crazy and get to know one another. I wanna be people-oriented and not task-driven. the task still has to be done, but people first! =)

I am truly impressed with my team and I thank God for putting them on the list!

yes please.... a thousand order of prayers would be really nice =)

Sash commented that it's impressive how early we started our first meeting. Well... Thermostats! and Christmas 08 here we come!! =)

Wad did I do now...

2008-07-09T09:10:00.000-07:00

What did I do now....

or rather.... what did I NOT do last time...

I really wanna scream ....

*SOBZ...*

filled with emotions

2008-07-04T09:08:00.000-07:00

I am not EMO... I am just filled with emotions. maybe becoz I knw that I will have the car tmr and I wont get a chance to sit and stare outta the window. *hides from those who always take PT and and going to beat me up*

NO... not becoz of that I am filled with emotions. like duhz... I hv no idea why I am so emotional these few days...

today, on the way to church, again I sat and stare outta the window and looked at those trees... started to stir some emotions in me and I marveled at God's creation... ytd, I was toking abt his creation of the different animals... even trees, flowers, bushes... He created them outta nothing... even us, humans, are created so differently from one and another and guess wad!? He created us! like... from... NOTHING... there isnt like some books of "recipes" that He has in one of His cupboards which He pull out and "duplicate" from it. He used His creativity! And I am sure it was darn easy for Him! and we?!? there's only so much we can come up with... WAD EXACTLY ARE WE DOING...?!?! suddenly... I feel so ashamed of not being able to be who I am to be... sometimes I feel so stuck with coming up with ideas for work, sch or church... sometimes I feel that there is only so much I can come up with... sometimes I will get ideas from somewhere else... and I feel so ashamed becoz I hv such a creative God rite here for me to tap on and I failed to use/see it... SHAME ON ME!! SHAME on US!!

yeap... and tears filled my eyes...

and some other stuff that was discussed during the week...

If this entire event is only going to save ONE soul... are you still going to do it?

Special is the word I choose to use for today's Radi8 service. SPECIAL.....

Btw... U did really great! rem wad I said! It's just the beginning! more of that to come I am sure =) LOVE YAH!! and am so proud of ya! ;)

Freshness

2008-07-03T07:08:00.000-07:00

I am on course for today and tomorrow at SSTI (Social Service Teaching Institute) doing "Introduction to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy" =) Yeap! Have done abit of that in my course of study in Psychology but Director of Programs had something else to attend to and so he gave mean opportunity to go, to replace him. Anyway, it's located at Ulu Pandan Community Club. Already sound very ULU rite? a little help from the world wide web identified that it's next to Ghim Moh Bus Terminal and alil help from SBS transit suggested that I take NEL to Dougby Gaut Mrt and take the loop service of 111 to Ghim Moh Bus Terminal.

I made my way there with nobody's help and got there in time! YAY! so proud of myself. after the course, I had to take the bus then NEL to go to church coz got music practice. =) and I intended to take the NEL back from church after music prac too!

my point is... it was actually very refreshing to take the bus and MRT for once in a long while. other than the waking up earlier than usual.... which is very important to me actually coz i value my beauty sleep!! hehehe It was actually quite relaxing to just stop and stare at everything else that the bus passes by. for once, I just stared at the surroundings and relax and not think abt the next traffic light, check if there are cars so that I can filter and the what nots. I felt kinda GREAT if I may put it that way =) I think those who rely public transport alot who love to kill me rite now... =P

but it was "Freshness" to me. something that was outta the norm for once... I value this kind of freshness in my life. I hate to be too stuck in routine stuff... same for church... I am trained in doing things outta the norm, looking at things from a different perspective... like....

do we really have to repeat the last line 3 times to end a song ALL THE TIME?

or do we have to always link from song to song from back to front? can we link from chorus to bridge?

or a sermon must always be delivered in the same way? sometimes video can also enhance and brings freshness to the dynamics of the message

or does a cell lesson always have to be from the notes provided? and follow the guidelines? can we come up with our own mind maps to aid understanding?

or do we always have to start the service praying in the Spirit and speaking in tongues like as if we need something from Him? can we enter his gates with simply THANKSGIVING AND PRAISE and JOYFUL NOISE?

or do we always have to end a worship set with prayer? can we end with JOYFUL PRAISE?

or do we always have to do a particular song "the standard/usual/normal way?" can we use the intro of one song but link it to the actual song that we wanna do?

or do we always do the same old Easter and Christmas service the same way as the previous 25 years? can we do something different and gets the congregation to go "WOW... I haven never seen Easter and Christmas in that perspective before"

sometimes I think I have a mind of my own... sometimes I think I flow better with the vision of the other.... sometimes I think I am planted wrongly...

BLOOM AT WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED

before I continue... let me make it clear that I DID NOT say that doing what we always/normally do is wrong. It is PERFECTLY okie...

but my question is .... why do we need to do things in the same way when we have such a creative God? we are God's creation, we have a creative God... and we can tap on His creativity! HIS CREATIVITY... not the creativity of the secular world... not the creativity of the professionals... not the creativity of other churches... but HIS CREATIVITY. We can tap on His creativity ANYTIME AND ANYWHERE. The creative God that made giraffes out of His own imagination. LIKE WOAH!! there wasnt any encyclopedia for Him to refer to, there was no one else to tell Him how does a giraffe should look like, there was no giraffe that was previously made for Him to make reference from. He just created it. WOAH! I am amazed by just that! not just the giraffe... there's the elephant.. lion.... monkey... tiger... leopard.. PANDA!! the entire animal kingdom! nobody told Him how they look like. Since we have such a creative God... what happened to His people? when will it come a time... when the church (not limited to the four walls) stand and be the influence to the world? when will we triumph and claim that creativity back and say that it is from our God. that we, the children of God are the one who influence the secular world? WHEN....?

BE THE CHANGE THAT YOU WANNA SEE.... fight and fight and fight.... I will be behind you =)

MA TONG HUAI LE....

2008-06-25T07:50:00.000-07:00

MA TONG HUAI LE....

My sis inspired me for today's subject title =)

I came back and she told me... "MA TONG HAO LE."

then I realised... Ya hor... MA TONG has been "sick" for the past few days. basically, other than it's function and life mission to contain our peemotion (yes, PEE and MOTION), it's other important function is to flush out the peemotion. see....! even the MA TONG has it's "God-given" destiny =) SO, the flushing out part was down over the past few days and today, it was healed!! restored to its initial identity! I wonder did our MA TONG suffered it's identity crisis over the few days, since it cant be flushed.... or maybe it was experiencing it's quarter life crisis. Heh... =P

What I wanted to say was... we had to put a bucket of water beside the sick MA TONG and a little pail to scope the water from the bucket and pour the water into the MA TONG so as to try to flush out the pee... (no motion was done in this MA TONG as it was unfit for duty for 4 days). my point is... (yes finally getting to the main point here) the little pail that we used to scope the water from the bucket into the MA TONG is the one that I used when I was a child back in our old house!! we used to not have any water heater and we have this REALLY BIG pail to fill hot water and cold water in and we will use that little pail to scope water and pour over our head and body during bath time! INSTANT NOSTALGIA!! that red little pail with the handle sticking out.... MAN!! talk about memories!!

speaking about memories... I am a little nostalgic nowadays... met Joe online that day (awww! I missed saying that name!!) and we chatted for a bit. talk about Mick, talk abt Gen... (urggh...!! I miss those names... and those people...)

*sad*

I was shopping today for some of the CAreHut kids birthday presents and I came across this "SMASH! AUSTRALIA" water bottle. Instantly.... the vision of Surfer's Paradise came to my mind... the soft sand in my feet... the blue ocean in front of me... the freshness of the air that I breathe... the clear blue sky.... the surfers in the ocean... the sound of the waves... the distinct horizon... the ripples of the water... the 2 years that I spent there... the house... the car... church... dance ministry... those drives to gold coast... the cold yet sunny weather and most importantly... the boys... DARN... HELL YEAH I MISS THEM SO MUCH.... the times we spent hours practicing our dance... the times we went to the beach to hang out... the times we had BARBE at their place.... the times I massage them and they would just enjoyed it so much... the times we sang in the car... the times we played silly video games at mick's place... the times we caught movies together... the times they came over when I cooked... the times we sit together in church... the times we hang out after church... the times I saw them at Hillsongs conference... the times they make fun of me... the many many times we would hug each other when we see each other or when we leave for home... URRGGH.... *wiping away tears*

*sad...* I miss them so much.... so so much.... Sometimes I wanna just look at the photos we took when I was there but I dun even dare to open them to view... Coz I nv failed to cry whenever I look at those pictures...

this is something that is way beyond my control and I can only sit and reminisce in those beautiful memories....

hanging on...

2008-06-24T08:45:00.000-07:00

I am crashing for the fact that I am taking 2 modules this term... it is that period of time when I find no meaning in whatever I do and feel lost at where I am.

3 weeks to go before I have a proposal to subject on a Church event, a 1,000 word essay and an exam to take.

the first NT exam was kinda a breeze. but I still do not know what to expect for the second one.

I have written many 1,000 words essays during my course of study and this seem like nothing to me

I already handed in my own proposal for my own church for this year Christmas. I can just use that idea, change it according to the expectation of the course and submit it.

Seems easy? yeap! but not when that is on top of my work in CareHut, ministry involvement in church and the 2 nites of class every week.

the virus is attacking again... this is like the second time this term... 2 modules aint a good idea at all... I am crashing...

I have opted for the recee trip instead of the actual mission trip this year solely for the fact that I dun have enough leave for missions recee, missions trip and church camp. I realised all my leave are used on church stuff and none for my personal enjoyment... like go for a Bintan trip. I really dont mind taking leave to do things for the Lord but I wish I have more. I wish I can go for mission recee, missions trip AND church camp... but reality sets in and smack me on my head to remind me again that it is IMPOSSIBLE.

WHile deciding if I should go for the recee, I asked my BIG Daddy why cant I just have the luxury to go for all three... they are all part of Ur work and I wanna do Ur work! even if it means I have no more leave to take to go to somewhere I like, like Bintan, Bali, some beach resort, HongKong, Taiwan or Aussie.... *wipe tears away* but the issue here is.. I dun even have enough leave to go for all three... let alone my ME time to somewhere to just relax for awhile...

I had to let go of the missions trip this year... God reminded me again of where I am NOW. I am working for CCSS and that is my vocation. Let the pastors and other people do what God wants them to do... and I will just do where God placed me at rite now... *OUCH...* A reality that is so hard to take for me... but to be a good steward, this is what I have to do now. ministry... missions... wait til the time is rite and God thinks I have to move somewhere else... Right now... I just do what I am supposed to do. *pouts at BIG Daddy* I wanna go to the recee in peace that that is where He wants me to be this year. and send the missions team to missions with joy that that is wad God wans them to do this year. I can always go the next time round... next year ;)

2008-06-22T05:27:00.000-07:00

Something weird happened on my birthday. I got this parcel from this person who didnt leave any name.... It was probably a recycled A3 envelope with the "On Government Notice" on it. The ones that I get in my office when we receive any letter from the government side. It was addressed to me. I opened it up and the thing was wrapped in layers of recycled "Newpaper". I tore them and found a DVD inside. It was a chinese movie titled "Happy Birthday" with the subtitle that goes like.... "Some thing that I care everyday but can only wish once a year". I tot it was really queer... I didnt dare to watch it thinking it might end up with something like "The Ring" sorta horror stuff and kept it one side... still havent gotten down to watching it though. I dont think I have that many friends who watches chinese movie so I really have no idea who sent me this dvd... yeap.. I still find it weird... One day, MeiXia came to my center to help out and I know she is those kind of lady who will watch chinese shows, at least more than me, so I briefly mentioned the title to her and she said that she had watched the show before =) So i asked her wad is the show abt. although she was kinda relunctant to tell me the story line in the beginning, she still did. I felt more queer than ever after.

The show is abt this guy and girl who lost contact after some time, but the girl gets a birthday card ever year on her birthday from this guy. Turns out, at the end of the show, this guy was actually already dead for very long. This guy actually got his friend to send this girl a birthday card every year just so that the girl would think that he is still around in this world. but actually he died in a car crash...

O.O Okie... who the hell would send me such a dvd on my birthday.... OWN UP!!! so queer.... I dunno if I wanna watch it...

on a lighter note! I found this really nice and quiet place at ECP to do work and have a cuppa =) Its the new "plaground" at ECP and I love it there!! hehehe with the sea breeze, sitting on the roof with the sky to watch, the sun hasnt set, u can see the sea from where u sit. WOAH!! I love it! I am LOViNG IT! =) I think I will hang out there tmr to complete my assignment WoOhOO!!

And did I tell you I am enjoying my every weekend? =) LAlALaLAla!

2008-06-17T23:20:00.000-07:00

I saw u standing there waiting for ur turn and tt sight pains me... I wanted to hug u then but I tot I'd wait til you were done. Many tots that came thru didnt stop me from doing what I felt I just wanna do. It doesnt really matter, all I wanted to let u knw was that I still do care alot about u. the cry that u let out when I whisper those three words put me to tears. It was as if u hv been waiting for me to say that again to u and I finally did. I dunno if u have any idea how much it pains me seeing u going thru all these. Honestly, I dowan to over promise and under-deliver. I am glad that I did wad I did. I am glad we spent some time together during those 4 days. I am glad we gave this and each other one more try tt nite at vivo. I am glad u are trying to take baby steps towards something bigger in ur life. I am ... just... GLAD.

Those 2 sentences pierced right thru my heart, hearing them coming outta ur mouth. I dun think I have said things like that to u... about my honest tots that u arent prepared for wad it has to take. "Maybe, u just are not prepared for it." Did it hurt? OF COZ!! Am I going let it get to me... I dun think so! I found my assurance in God when I laid down in bed and again in my morning drive to work. Who can say that he/she can be utterly prepared for God's will in his/her life? there are always something to work on in our journey towards our destiny. there will always be bumps and humps along the way, there will always be time when u are down and cant seem to get it rite. Are u prepared for it? Maybe I am prepared to see it coming. but unless the rubber meets the road, nobody can say that they are 100% prepared for it.

It doesnt matter if u honestly think that I m not prepared for it. first of all, I think there was alot of misunderstanding and miscommunication that lead to that..

but more importantly, I found my assurance in God that He will put me thru bumps and humps to make sure I get it rite someday and that He will not give me something that He knows I cant handle. I found comfort, acceptance and love in Him... There will always be a chance that man will disappoint you... but God's love for His people is everlasting. =)

So am I prepared? *grins*

still working on it!

and ..... I bet it's the same for YOU too ;)

GET R.E.A.L

2008-06-15T05:35:00.000-07:00

First and foremost -----------> HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMANTHA KOH WEIFANG!! yeap! one year older =) Great to see you grown to where u are now! and guess wad? Many more good years ahead of u!! =)

NEXT!! Youth Camp!

It was... different this year... I dunno how to describe it but it was just.... DIFFERENT. Surely, God was moving mightily in the services. But it was just... DIFFERENT... hmmmm No words can describe it...

7th June 2008

I celebrated my 25th birthday. Quarter of a century many say, but this was wad happened that day.

I woke up expecting to attend Munn's Holy Matrimony, get Sash's shirt exchange and done, head back home to slack and wait for my dinner appointment with my beloved one.

Morning call confirmed the dinner to be at 5ish, happily I put down the phone and got ready to leave for the wedding.

30 mins later a call changed everything. Here was my revised schedule...

11am to 2pm - Church Wedding and Lunch reception

2pm to 4pm - Tangs @ Orchard

4pm to 6pm - Kung Fu Panda @ Cine

6pm to 7pm - Simple dinner @ Diner's

7pm to 9 pm - Funeral Parlour

9pm to 10pm - Apple Pie ice cream @ Island creamery

the call that changed everything was that someone's mum went home to be with the Lord and Sash had to lead worship at the funeral.

I was upset that my dinner appointment had to be cancelled. at that moment, all I tot I was going to be left to do was... to the wedding and to town for abit and back and blank blank blank. of coz I was sad and disappointed... hey I am just getting real here. it's my birthday and the only thing that I was looking forward to had to be taken away from me. well... I am glad that feeling just lasted for awhile...

On the way to the church... God reminded me again... this is wad ministry is all about. birthdays are just another day... ministry is about people...

But God, this is not my ministry...! I am not called to do funerals... I am called to the arts in church...

You... hav a much higher calling than just arts in the church... being a pastor's wife is also a calling... and this is your preparation...

*looks up to Big Daddy*

*sings* "Oh what can I say... or what can I do..."

I put my birthday aside and flowed along with watever things that I have for the day left...

I had the greatest birthday ever! =) really! it came out MUCH better than expected. I had great fun with the SF! It was so much more meaningful than just merry celebration =)

I watched a super funny movie, KUNG FU PANDA!!! had a nice and simple dinner with good fellowship. and wad's best?! the APPLE PIE ICE CREAM!! *BIG SMILES ALL OVER*

It's a birthday that I will not forget anytime soon! A precious lesson revised, a question answered and a future to look forward to! That's my birthday!! YAY!! =)

Did I mentioned I am inspired to write a book? hahaha yeap!! I really had that inspiration. and I think I am going to get down to writing it soon! =)

Failed...

2008-06-05T09:50:00.000-07:00

I can't seem to upload the video... hmmm OH WELLS.... for now, I will just upload the pictures then =)

DURIAN TREE!!!! I am so fascinated by this durian tree! I always LOVEEEEE durian but has never in my life came so close to its tree before!! thus, it explains the fascination! haha! =) *happy and jumps around in excitement*

DUCKLING!! yessss... have never seen on before either =) But I am glad I did anyway! so cute!! and the BLACK RABBIT is so cute too!!! =)

Ok OK!! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.... ! Here comes.... MY FAVOURITE PART OF THE DESARU TRIP!!! The highlight of the entire trip!!! LEts put our hands tgt and welcomee.... THE OWL!!!! =) Aint it CUTE?!?! it was... LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT K!! hahaha =) it started by me walking towards its cage... then those two eyes just followed me.... I stop, its eyes stop moving... I move... it followed me... with that stare... it look kinda dumb and kinda fierce.. like as if it's staring me down. hahaha BUT it's so cute!!! =)

And there was OWL's friend!

There you go... the human form

Monkey is itching! hahaha

DUnno wad Sarah was doing during lunch time!

BEcca Sam and Rae! coolness!!

Sam acting cute..... *bleah*

Sarah Debz and myself!! =) we are waiting for the food to be served!! =)

Sarah Debz and Me agaiN!

Two whites and two browns!

Becca and SAM!

Me and .... Its SAM AGAIN!! =)

Debz and.... YEAP! SAM....!

Sarah andguess who AGAIN.... S....A.....M......! =)

ME AND DEBZ!

Okie, this is like HILARIOUS!!! the three standing up didnt have any idea wad the bottom three are doing. the bottom three are doing the WOW sign with their fingers and mouth. I was laughing like mad after realising wad they are trying to do!! hahaha so fun!

HAHA! I have no idea wad are they trying to do to sam and rae! =)

The multi-slippers gang! =)

The picture is so COOL!!! and look! the whites are on one side, the browns on the other. hahaha wasnt planned!

this is the last picture I have on my camera, and guess wad... it's SAM ACTING cute... AGAIN! =)

That marks the end of our desaru trip! like I said, WE ALL HAD SO MUCH FUN!!! YAY!!! =)

so many things!!

2008-06-02T07:49:00.001-07:00

okie, one thing at a time =)

finally the one week of internet fast is over!! *Phew*

So wad did I get outta it? Well, I spent more time on my books!! okie, I might just do it again some time, but for now, I AM online! hahaha

Desaru trip was AWESOME!! hahaha yes yes for more info pls read SAM or DEBZ blog, I realised that they blogged about the same thing and I dowan to blog abt it the third time! hahaha but all I can say is that I truely enjoyed the trip! it was fun fun fun!! and guess wad?! the FUN-NEST part was of coz... my favourite OWLs. SO CUte and I was telling Same that I wanna bring it home!! It's one of those things, which I would really love to have one at home, that would greet me after a hard day's work, with it's darn retarded face, so I get cheered up INSTANTLY!! Of coz, i dun get the joy outta their misery but it's just that they are SO CUUTE! like a Sha Pei dog, Oh my word... I really really loNG to have that Owl!! it was well... LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT! HAHAHa that was the highlight of the trip! and not forgetting Same's MTV recording! Gosh... it was HILARIOUS!! she was suddenly SO HIGH! and it was GREAT!! hopefully I can get the pictures and video up soon!!

I know it can be painful when it comes to having someone whom u are close to leave u... I think I can sorta understand where u are at... just be strong... I dunno wad else to say.. u gotta ask God for strength and u gotta do it urself... it's hard... but never impossible... stay strong! and continue to rock on! hahaha =) Love yah! rem, ur bro and I will still be around ;) and of coz... many others too =)

I wanted to tell you... that it hurts alot... it was practically heartbreaking... to see things like this... I wanted to share with you the feeling and struggle that I have... but I didnt get a chance too... as much as yes... I may sound angry and pissed when I shared those stuff with u... but deep inside... it was more of a heart break than anything else... basically... I felt like a shepherd losing one of his sheep... I cant and dowan to say anything now... it feels like words bouncing off the wall... or return to me in a totally different meaning... I cried to Big Daddy to give me strength... I just refuse to give up...

Sunday's second service was powerful! message was really good! I really like how the way the preacher gave a brief overview of the context of what he was preaching abt! great sermon! was glad that I was there =)

I asked Daddy (with a capital "D") why? why does my heart hurt so bad? why doesnt the words get through? why do they have to be interpreted wrongly? why am I not understood? why are my words heared but not listened? Suddenly, like a thunder... it came... "So u know how I feel now?" All of a sudden, I tot I could feel the heartbreak that my heavenly Father would feel (ok, maybe not as intense) when His precious children refuse to listen to Him... Many a times, we claim that "God doesnt speak to me"... OUCH.. I felt tht... but honestly... out of the many times, how many of it is becoz WE dun listen? and we push the blame to God and say HE doesnt speak... OUCH.... I felt tt again.... Truth is, He loves all His children and He long to speak to every single one of them... question is... are we CONNECTED with Him...?

"I so wanna grow saggy and old with you... travel the world... sharing the gospel... taking the message of redemption to the ends of this earth... *blank* *blank* and leave a legacy... ALL WITH YOU. A GOOD legacy in Jesus Name & By His Grace! "

I was looking through some pictures and I found this....

Then I realised that was about a year ago... time flies... I remembered the times we spent on the bus... that only one time we took a walk to the beach and sat there to wait for sunrise... the pictures we took... the meal times when we sat together... the times we sat together during service... the 44,000 children... the walks to the room... that was a year ago and so many things happened since... we are heading to youth camp once again this year... how different is it going to be...? I wonder wad awaits us there...

Thanx for the prayers today! I mean.. it was so sweet of ALL of u!! =) *so loved* hehehe

Okie! Desaru's pictures and MTV are uploaded to my computer! but I am still figuring out how to do this rite... so... pictures and video next time!! meanwhile... here's a sneak peek =)

...only God knows...

2008-05-24T08:43:00.000-07:00

This tot just dawn on me that day when I was stuck in a traffic jam trying to get to church...

"Only God knows my heart..."

the way the children in my center behaves when I am around compared to when my colleague is around is VERY different. I am mostly the disciplinarian in the center.... most of the time... if not ALL... It's really sad to see them playing and enjoying, having fun with my colleague. but when it comes to me, they are just... SCARED.... of coz, there are times when they would play with me, like catching is their favourite game. or the occasional card games we play.... "later Aunty Amy scold" is something that I hear very often... hard to take? definitely... easy job?? definitely NOT... is it going to stop me?? NOPE...

"Train a child the way he should go and when he grows old, he will never depart from it"

I am not quoting word for word, but the gist is there for me to hold on to...

disciplining them might be the hardest thing to do to them.. the most torturous treatment... but I would explain to them why they are being punished before executing the punishment... at least, I know, on my courts.. I have done wad I can do... the balls... are theirs to take...

Some times I would think if they'd ask my colleague "Where is Aunty Amy ?? WHy she never come today??" when I am not around.... just like how they'd ask me if my colleague was absent from work... I sure do wish they will ask...

that day when I went off to see a doc to check up my leg, they must be wondering where I'd hv gone to...

the next day I got back to work, and this girl came and ask me.. "AUnty Amy, ur leg still painful??" *INSTANT HEARTMELT MORE INSTANT THAN INSTANT NOODLES..* AWWWW....!

Yes... truth is... the negative things are always very difficult to swallow... the negative things at work seems so prominently appearing in the things I see... the negative things that encourages me to give up... but God gave us all a CHOICE... and I choose to stop looking at these negative things and shift my focus to God alone...

if my connection with Him fails... everything else fails... even if I try to NOT look at the negative things... I still would becoz... my connection fail...

when my connection is in place... by God's grace... the things that I look at seems different... makes it more hopeful... makes it more cheerful... makes it all so brighter....

the tooth that I plucked out tells me that I was part of the child's first few tooth that dropped out and Aunty Amy was the one who helped her with it... the first time she got 10/10 for her spelling when previously she struggle to even write the letter "S"... the times when he successfully came back, lunch-ed, shower-ed, within the time frame that we gave him... the smiles that I see when they gave me the lil letters wit the hearts on it... the times when the were so proud about someting good that they hv done and they know that Aunty Amy will be so proud of them... the times when I held his hand and walked with him to the dentist but he kept saying he's scared... the times when I dress their wounds when they fell during games time... the drawings that I find presented to me with red coloured hearts... the cards I get with self made envelopes... the politeness I get to see them asking me for a favour with a "please"... the ability to fold his own sleeping bag... the ability to learn spelling on her own...

They are the good and positive things that I choose to look at...

David mentioned God 9 times while he only mentioned Goliath 2 times...

they might not be times that make me laugh... but they are times that I know... that as long as I teach them the right way to go... I have done my best and done my part... they can choose to not listen and follow... they can choose to hate me and ask why is Aunty Amy so cruel to them and dont care abt them and say that I punish them all the time... But I pray that somehow.. someday... somewhere... they will still knw.. that when they were young... there is this Aunty Amy, though fierce, have thought them some life skills that stuck with them through the years... and that Aunty Amy actually cared so much about them, that she tried her best to teach them the way they should go...

I am going to fast my night internet time for the whole of next week... It's taking too much of my time lately and I wanna do some things that are more productive! hahaha like spending time with Big Daddy =)

TOUCH RUGBY!!!

2008-05-19T06:59:00.000-07:00

Sash and Max organised a touch rugby game today since it is a public holiday!

For once, the girls get to play some sports since most of the time, selfish guys in church just stick to their own game of soccer... haha but it was nice to hav touch rugby today!! I had SOOOO MUCH FUN!!

Sash got all the carecell leaders to contact their members to let them know about today's game and I called out my members to come join! hehehehe in the end, Derek, Sherrilyn, Annika, Jerome, Leonard and Cherie came! hahaha it was SO fun!! we didnt had the inter-carecell game as tot it would be (maybe the next time!! =) ) but it was AWESOME !! ;)

Half time, the sole of my shoe came out and I decided to take them off and run with only my socks on. Cherie told me that it can be painful to run on some parts of the grass as she ran on barefoot for awhile just now. I didn give much tot into it and just went on with the game... in my black sockz...

abit into the second half... I saw Gid running towards me and there was space beside me. natural tot is to follow where he is going and make sure he doesnt get a chance to go pass me without being touched. sure enough he came towards my direction and I was watching him really closely, ready my both hands to touch him, I even decided that I would go for his right shoulders as he seems like he was coming by my right hand side. true enough he did and I steadily touched him..... YAY!!

BUT..................... the next thing I knew, his right foot went ONTO my right foot and I was down holding my foot.... I literally felt the studs on his shoes on my foot..... O......U.......C.......H.......

I was then helped outta the field by Sash and Jolin (THANK U!!) =) I was laughin at dunno wad when I was making my way to the sideline... HAHAHA it was jus... FUNNY...

And I spent the rest of the time on the sideline with Sam, Rae, CHerie, Becca and Lucas... I want to go play.....

Lucas was so kind to lend me his PSP to pass time on the sideline =)

Game ended with me still on the sideline of coz.... then we packed on went back to church. Cherie lent me her shoulders to lean on as we make out way back to church, brought me up the flight of stairs of overhead bridge.. as we head down the stairs, she was making her steps down the exact same way as I did with mine. I drop my left foot down one step, then drop the other one down the same step. it was so funny when Sash told her, "u can walked normally one u know, then u just walk slowly, wait for her". Poor girl! She tried, first few steps she was trying to co-ordinate her steps and speed. the next few steps.. she started to not know how to get down staircase NORMALLY. It was so funny just looking at the steps that she was making! she suddenly just didnt know how to co-ordinate her steps HAHAHAHA =) SO SWEEt of her can!! I was so touched by her gesture =)

we went back to church and bathed and went to hav dinner. after dinner, we walked out and met Ethan and his mum, stayed and chat for awhile and then..... Gid felt so sorry for my leg becoz... now... the part where his studs went ON my foot with the whole of his body weight was swollen... yeap! THANX GID! so I have two swollen parts where yah, basically that where his studs made contact with my dear foot... and then..... Jerome made this comment...

"hey! look like 2 durian seeds!"

-.- .......... thank you........

so yeap. my prize today at touch rugby --> Two durian seeds on my feet. =)

But I didnt even get to eat any durians to begin with...

I was hesistant, didnt know how to put my words together or whether if that is even necessary... but like I have told myself... when it comes to this kind of "eeerie and scary" thing... since I felt lead to.. I'd rather make no sense or make a mistake or set myself up to look foolish than to miss a chance to minister and speak into someone else's life whom God has placed in my heart. Coz, I'd rather look foolish, then to know that I hav missed that chance to be a blessing in someone's life, that will be really sad. So yeap! I thank God that you were so receptive abt it although it felt and looked like u were thrown off by wad I said =) but oh well...! like I said, I truly feel that it's just a glimpse of wad He can show you and it's just the beginning! ;)

Happy moments!~

2008-05-15T22:26:00.000-07:00

On tuesday, I felt like I was the luckiest creature on earth =) I felt most pampered !! =) I was practically smiling the whole day from the time I was up to when I was in class and when I got home =) At the end of the day, I realised that certain things that I tot would make be happy are just able to make me feel good for a short period of time. however, this happy moments are one of those that will stick with me for probably the rest of my lifetime =) something that came so rarely adds the freshness and blissfulness and the surprise element to it. something tht I will hold close to my heart! =)

I get so perked up by the look of lil fighter's blog. that shitty blog with a stench HAHAHA! I just couldnt help but smile after it finish loadin =) everytime! hahaha

She is getting that smell from her blog... hahahaha ;)

I took my first bus ride on my own for the first time in God knows how many months... hahaha it was good. people watching. personal reflection as I look out of the window. it wasnt a moody thing, though I was given the wrong directions!! it was very fresh as .... well... it was very outta the norm. it is good to do that at times. I enjoyed the rides in public transport but I also appreciate my car so much more. and know that I am so blessed.

I would give anything to relive that moment again. =) and I think I know wad that "anything" is. Like wad Ps Bea said everytime, one missed note, one off tune... isnt going to stop God from coming and take His place.

I had one of the best laugh I had while walking to prata shop for supper! HAHAHA *jumping five*

Lucas let me play this really fun and funny game on his PSP and I was tilting my whole body to the left apparently in an attempt to move the watery bubbly thing to the left HAHAHA it was so fun!! =)

Its amazing to hear from Sam that she had a "gut" feeling that I was going to change song. She said she was waiting for me to walk to zq. (hahaha thats funny) but I stand amazed at wad she told me and the gut feeling that she had. I dun really think it's a gut feeling gut feeling, maybe it was something else... ;) something bigger than just a gut feeling... she didnt expect the norm to be done which was really grool!

and I was amazed at the fact that I didnt had that "feeling" alone. that somehow, our focus was aligned with one another and we knw that there is another direction to head towards. it was some sort of like a... team direction. I really appreciate that the whole entire team were together and we worshipped tgt as a team, as one in unity. They accepted my idea openly and were so willing to work tgt with me... God was sovereign and so evident... once again, I stand amazed.. captured by His grace...

Its funny how some people uses one kind of ruler to measure themselves but a total different kind of ruler for other people. hahaha humans... TSK!

YAY!!!

2008-05-07T00:34:00.000-07:00

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

The reason? NO IDEA!! hahaha just felt like YAY-ing for a moment in the darkness and tiredness....

YEEEESSSS!!! in the midst of the chaos, the work, the sch, the church, the SF and I am still YAY-ing

HA!!

The joy of the Lord, IS MY STRENGTH!!! *dances about in excitement*

Thanx Same... u being there made all these easier to handle... and less stressful =)

2008-05-04T07:43:00.000-07:00

"This one, mummy sure plus guarantee chop OK one. hahaha He's one year younger than me and he is already earning more than me. He is those high flyer kind and holy holy one! He's father was a pastor but past away already. but then he's a Malaysian"

I wanted to tell u abt this... but I wasnt given a chance to...

I wanted to tell u something more... but I wasnt given a chance to...

I wanted to just say a lil pray for u... but I wasnt given a chance to...

I was just... not given a chance to...

There was once I called u on the phone... and was stunned upon hearing u the other end of the line and was speechless when u asked wad was it that I called... I realised it's been long since we had a decent phone chat... by decent phone chat I mean... calling for no reason and just hang on the phone and chat... I dowan to use the word "used to"... That I am used to it already... or it is something that I haven grown used to... but somehow, it felt... normal... it's as if it was like... the norm... that we dun hv such phone chats anymore... and somehow, being used to it seems the most appropriate to use here.

ME

2008-05-02T00:57:00.000-07:00

I spent a good whole day by myself on wednesday since it was my off day. *PHEW*

Just me, myself and I and the beach at sentosa and of coz ----> The beautiful sun =) and of coz! not fogetting a good book!

MUAHAHAHA after that HAPPY!! even though I had to go to class like a cooked lobster =) it was good!!

the things I do for cell lessons... kinda psychotic I'd say... but it's like an artistic expression and outlet for me hahaha!!

Well... they say it helps them to understand better and of coz... though I hav to go that extra mile to do up my own notes for them, I dont mind becoz in the mist of it. I learn better too!! hahaha pictures really help me to learn better =)

Okie, I AM HAPPY!!

no no no... I am DIFFERENT hahahaha

*give that SAME SAME look*

Ok ok.. I and happy AND different!!

I am happily different!!

or..

I am differently happy!!

wadever... LAME LAME...

Yesterday BBQ was GREAT!!! had so fun much!! it's like back to good old AUSSIE days... =)

Unbelievable

2008-04-23T00:16:00.000-07:00

Unbelievable...

The score line of 1-1 at the end of 95 minutes... UNBELIEVABLE...

The OG seconds away from the final whistle that gave Chelsea, it's only goal.. an away goal... UNBELIEVABLE...

A ball that seem to be easily cleared by Riise, who has done that a thousand times before, who decided to use his head instead of his legs... UNBELIEVABLE...

I spent 45 mins to get to work, only to realised that the reason that was causing the jam was because the OTHER SIDE of the road was having some trees cut... UNBELIEVABLE...

It was not peak hours on CTE but there was a huge jam, everyone slowed down to look at the overhead bridge and it was just some filming going on.... UNBELIEVABLE...

Jesus was crucified and He rose in 3 days... UNBELIEVABLE...

Jesus stayed on earth to teach for another 40 days before His acension... UNBELIEVABLE...

A dyslexic child takes great effort to even write a simple sentence correctly... UNBELIEVABLE...

The complex mind allows paranoia to override all positivity in the brain that causes someone to go in the wrong direction... UNBELIEVABLE...

Parents who are able to leave their kids with their own parents and move on with their individual lives with new partners, chasing their kids out of the house... UNBELIEVABLE...

Unbelievable things happen... and they probably remain in the minds and heart of people...

What kind of UNBELIEVABLE things YOU want to leave in people's hearts and minds?

U choose...

Gecko traps!

2008-04-03T22:40:00.001-07:00

I chatted with my sister about LIZARD TRAPS over the dinner at home that was long overdue... then I realised what my life revolves around...

"The job satisfaction I get is to see the kids smile and know that they treat the center as their second home... compared to the chaos or the unloving place they stay at..."

what I got was a "*laughs* that's good lo... I guess..." was it hard to swallow... def... when the tone was like a "well... ok if u say so..."

It gave me the motivation to carry on what I do base on the fact that there are so many singaporeans who have absolutely NO IDEA that there are people living on this island who lacks love AND money... that there are so many people who's motivation is just purely monetary.

many of you may laugh... at my lizard trap story and say that that is so housewife-y and so aunty... well... that's my life for now. If it takes 10 lizard traps to catch the lizards so that the center is free from disgusting lizards' crap so that the kids have a more hygiene environment to be in... so be it... call me Aunty ;)

1/2 year mark....

2008-04-02T07:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday marks the day we step into our 6th month.... looking back... it's been a ride... and wad seems like a blink... it's almost half a year... 2 more half a year to go... I'm holding on... to the fact that I can still love him... I wanna say so much... but I dun think I should... later I get scolding...

I am supposed to be the tough cookie without given the grace to turn soggy....

The Pillowman was... fascinating in a quiet way... it's rather draggy but every part has a part in the big picture. although alot of short stories were told, they all contribute to the larger story at the end of it. I just love theatre and how the actors are so good in what they do!! well.. I wonder if u get that kinda excellence when it comes to church plays....

I went to watch a horror movie without knowing that its a horror movie... I used to b a BIG fan of horror shows. then I stopped... because I felt that it wasnt at all good to the soul so I am watching what I "feed" myself... horror shows can be quite disturbing when u think abt the works behind the whole movie and how maybe "spirits" are involved...? well, I do not know what they do behind whats on the screen, but I bet its nothing good... especially those thai ones.... EEEEWWWW... hahaha...

alrite... okie.. I get it...

the wang wang part of me wants to give myself a good tight slap and ask me to wake up my idea and STOP FIGHTING... "Who the hell are u trying to fight here?? Huh? U think u can fight against it? u think by whining u can get away with it? Wake up ur idea girl, this is GOD. U really wanna fight God?? U really wanna run away from God?? see what happened to Jonah... U wont stop till u see the tummy of the fish rite?"

the human side of me is just pouting my days away....

Well... like wad Sash says... it can never get clearer than this... two Pastors in two weeks... let's not even get into people like Paul and my supervisor who hav spoken to me time and again abt the things in my life... ALRITE... Dad... I get it.... I get it Daddy... I get it....

I think I need to come up with a treatment plan for myself... darn...

the Gas station

2008-03-24T21:09:00.000-07:00

I have a very unusual and bad habit... I dont top up my gas tank like how my mum does. she would pay the gas station a visit very time the meter goes slightly below the half way mark.

I, on the other hand, would always wonder why bother when it is STILL half a tank FULL... wad a positive thinking. the tank is HALF FULL and not HALF EMPTY. maybe that explains her negative attitude towards everything.

so... this post isnt abt my mum having a HALF EMPTY attitude.. it about my bad habit.. rite? right...

I would give the car (and maybe myself) a REAL test of faith. tok about not worrying even when the light is lit, shouting at me that "I AM RUNNING ON LOW GAS!!!" Well... I dun seem to care... I am sure it will still get me to work, and to church, and then back home, and then back to work the next morning and then MAYBE to the gas station, if I even remb to go to the gas station that is. if not, then maybe it will the next day.

So what's so bad about having so much faith in the lit warning light? well, I guess it's nothing so bad about when u are toking abt having faith.

it's a bad habit for me becos I would fill it up to the full everytime I visit the gas station and probably let it run dry until the next time I visit the gas station again. not many people know, however, the fuel consumption is more when u are running only on a less than half full tank. ur gas runs out much faster than when u are ABOVE the half way mark.

my habit is that I will only go to the gas station when I REALLY AM IN NEED TO... when I really know for sure, it is not going to take me any much further than my eyesight could see. I failed to fill up my tank every now and then even when it is not necessary to... I often end up running to the gas station really dried up like a dried prune... I think I am super woman? maybe... I think I hav a super Gas station? maybe... I think

I feel like a car that has to be driven from the airport to wild wild wet and then to woodlands and then to sentosa and then to Jurong birdpark and then to east coast park and then to orchard road and then to seletar reservoir and then to the zoo and then back to the airport all in one day with one full gas tank. However, along the way, I will have to stop at a gas station and fill it up so that I wont risk running on a low gas tank. visiting the toilet would also contribute a good break for the car to at least stop and breathe....

and toilet is the most wonderful place. whoever invented the bathroom and the shower deserves a clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap =)

I think I have to re-do my essay... but at least I got the new outline from my 20 min shower! hahaha maybe I should just take one more day leave and spend my whole day in the shower doing my assignment.... coolios.... O.o hehehehehe

I broke down yesterday... I think I am just silly-ly stupid... and overly crazy over you... I gave and I gave and I gave and I gave.... and I gave...

things..

2008-03-16T21:22:00.002-07:00

last week... it was...

tiredness.school holidays.not enough sleep=grouchy

but guess wad?!?! School holidays are over!! like YAY!!

YAY!! Ps Bea said YES!!!

on sat I went over to Trinity Christian Center's Easter production's rehearsal. like coolness!!

They are putting up a illustrated sermon this Easter and I got to see so many things!! and there are so many people in each team. the drama team, the band, the props team, the video team, the choir, the soloists. COOLNESS CAN!! I jolted down and as many things as I can and Ps Bea was sharing alot of stuff with me. I am going again tonite to see their tech run. MAN... AWESOME!! but I wished that I could hv been involved since the start of the planning stage... that will be WAAAAY coolness!!

I have been bugging PaulDavid about this and I am glad I thickened my skin and continued to bug him ever so often til he gave me an answer!! hahaha =)

I am meeting Ps Glen this saturday and I think I better go type out my script... I am scared!! but well... this HAS to happen... might as well do it soon...

I had a dream... I dreamt that I finally threw in the towel... I finally did...

this morning on my way to work... I was thinking should I just throw in the towel... should I just do it anyway... then I asked myself this question... am I going to be at peace if I throw in the towel... knowing myself.. i'd probably ask myself what will happen if I DIDNT throw in the towel... well... like how I shared with Adele... God should be in the center of the whole picture...

its sad isnt it....? we say that God... we want to do this this and that that for You... we get so caught up doing so many things for Him, we forgot who He really is... we forgot how He should always be the center of our everything.... we are so caught up with the DOING, we forgot the BEING....

nutcracker

2008-03-11T02:42:00.000-07:00

I got a full bag of nuts... and let me tell u about those nuts...

THEY.... THOSE NUTS.... They are hard to crack... NEVER within my ability to crack them...

I tried... with a normal nutcracker... didnt work...

I tried with a hammer... didnt work....

I tried soaking them with water... didnt work...

I tried waiting for them to hatch... didnt work...

then I began to doubt my own ability... maybe I just cant crack nuts... other people seem to have it all together... they look just fine... the bag of nuts they have... too easy to crack... MINE? *shrugs* Issit me? issit the nut cracker?? or it is just those nuts....

then.....

I realised.... that the best nutcracker in the world is ..........

JESUS

Under the shelter of Your wings

I hide myself safe in Your arms

Your grace will be my covering

Under the shadow of Your wings

I'll live my life, to You I'll align

Your grace will be my covering

was greatly blessed that morning.

havent felt like that in a longest time.....

I wanna go back there again.

for many many times..........

..........

2008-03-07T09:27:00.000-08:00

I finally told someone else other than sash all that's frustrating me... my struggles... my difficulties.... I fell apart and cried infront of him... He followed on to say a whole lot of things that really got me thinking... thinking and thinking really hard...

His voice said... "how much do you want this?"

following stuffs that happened after that talk got me thinking even harder...

When it happened, it was like.... *ouCH*

When I found out about it, it was like.... *oUcH...*

When I heard it, it was like..... *OuCH.....*

OucH oUCh oUcH...!!!

I keep telling myself I will do wad God wand me to do... I will do what God wans me to do.... but it's still extremely hard.... Darn....

I am still thinking... maybe I should stop thinking and start praying more...

I was being put in a situation where I had no choice but to talk to max... felt really awkward to be left in that situation but I decided to asked God for something to talk about and He gave me a question to start it off. I asked the exact question that He gave me... and I had the best conversation I ever had in a long time. I saw how Max opened up to me and how I was able to talk to him so easily... I thank God for putting me in a situation like tt and He showed me how amazing a simple question can turn to the most meaningful conversation I ever had... in some time. I stand amazed at the work of His hands...

I was alittle down... But I knew (with increase pulse) that this is the right time to ask that question that I have been wanting to ask. Just the two of us. I have been waiting for the right opportunity. and there I was... at the perfect opportunity... But I told myself.. I cant... I am alittle down... how much a blessing can I be when I am alittle down... He reminded me of how I shouldnt stop being a blessing even when I am down... I shift how I am feeling aside and pop that question. the conversation just went on... I dunno how much I have impacted or be a blessing... but I did wat I could. I sow a seed... and I can only leave everything in God's hands because only He can make the seed grow. my job is to just plant the seed... I felt good at the end... I had the most meaningful conversation yet again... I stand amazed at the work of Your hands

no doubt... I am still hurting... *curls up in my corner in Big daddy's arms*

ah la-la-long...ah la-la-long

2008-02-29T23:21:00.000-08:00

I am taking a break from doing 2 hours straight of work in the school library =)

Ah la-la-long...! Ah la-la-long...!! hehehehe my favourite for now. until it irritates the hell outta Shuai =)

Ah la-la-long...! Ah la-la-long...! hahaha! okie... McLame...

SO!! it was fun doin crazy stuff like going home and shower and clothed myself with a big T-shirt and FBT shorts and head now to orchard at 1:40 AM! haha all for the sake of watching "The Leap Years" and then "Ah Long Pte Ltd" at 3:45AM. HAHA I almost brought my pillow along with me and wore my PJS. of coz, I didnt, this aint aussie land hahaha however, upon reaching cineleisure orchard, we realised that there were still many many people around, some like us going for a late nite show and some just came out from a almost midnite show =) hahaha tok abt being afraid of seeing someone we know.

what was the most fun thing watching movies in the wee hours of the morning in ur FBT? Just doing something that was outta the norm =) that fills my tummy with excitement. didnt matter that the rest of the people around us were dressed so nicely, although it was kinda embarassing in the beginning. hahaha Well, as much as the movies werent as great, I really enjoyed doing this crazy thing and had a fun time out with u! =)

For once, I feel like I could do crazy stuff like this with my friend in Singapore!! I miss those crazy times I had in aussie... driving all the way to sunnybank to have bubble tea! hahaha that was just GREAT! as crazy as it is... yeap... GREAT!! =)

oh... it's Shuai whom I went out with by the way... hahaha =)

It was a small gesture, but it overflowed with loads of love *beams*

plans to prosper you

2008-02-24T07:46:00.000-08:00

I sense it happening... somehow.... I knew... I saw it coming... but I wasnt sure... and I definitely dowanna see it happening.... but now... it is a fact... it happened...

once again, I took in it in with a deep breath and ran to Big Daddy...

He reminded me of what I learnt in class...

"Always do what God wants you to do and let someone else do what you want to do."

Powerful sentence I must say. But definitely aint easy to live it out.

It's all about God.

It's easier to do what God wants you to do. Maybe He wants you to serve in ushering... well.. as much as bein in the usher ministry isnt your ideal choice... you think you can get by it since you know that God wants you to be in the usher ministry... although all along, you want to serve as a pianist in the worship ministry.

Now... that's fulfilling the first part of the sentence I just wrote...

Here's it... it isnt going to be that easy when you see your best friend serving in the worship ministry as a.. u-know-exactly-wat --> pianist. A service which you always wanted to provide... now... U have to let someone else (in this case, your best friend) do what you want to do. Is it going to be easy serving in usher ministry while you see your best friend serving as a pianist...??? something that you have always wanted to do?? NOPE...

But ultimately... it's all about God...

In 2 Timothy 4:5, Paul said "Fulfill your ministry."

Ushering might be the ministry that God had crafted you to serve in. The one that flows out of a sincere spirit of humility and submission. the one that matches the exact role God assigned you in the world wide redemptive drama. the one that corresponds with your true spiritual gifts, passions, and talents. the one that is proportionate to the measure of faith that God has given you.

Disclaimer: ABove scenario is not applicable to anybody

And something else....

"He makes all things beautiful, in His time..." =)

With that, I ended my night laying down my head in peace and assurance... that His plans is to prosper me and not harm me, even in times like this...

where is ur vision directed at?

2008-02-15T08:55:00.001-08:00

The SSTEEEWWpIIDDDD-EST thing I have heard from an ADULT today was to ask that poor 9 year old girl to come to the center, get a towel and wrap her head AND go back to class, WITH the wrapped towel over her head and attend lesson.... I wanted to tell her to not be so freaking STEEWWPPIIDDD. who the hell ask a 9 year old girl to do sucha thing?!?! wake up ur idea?!?!

YAY!!

on V day I got a msg from Shuai and she said she got something for me!! I mean... not even my special friend hv anything for me and she bought me A thing? hahaha and she past it to me at youth tonite

I mean like... YAY!! hahaha YAY lo! hahaha =) *happy*smiling* LALALALA THANK U!!!

Then was toking to Sam online and I didnt eat anything the whole day tt day... it was just simply crazy.... I just had a bowl of oats in the morning and I was rushing here and there getting my work down, didnt had lunch, or tea, toking to my colleague abt work till I was late for class. then class-ed til I reached home at 10ish and I was hungui like mad... until I felt abit goggy too... maybe it was the lack of slp too... ANYWAYZ... and our dear Sam said she wanted to give me something... and here it is...

TADA!

How LAME can that be? hahaha but yet it was just so sweet hahaha

I was still hungui at the end though.... LAME...

at the end of it.... again I asked... was it pleasing to You...?? was our offering pleasing to You? I think everyone did a good job. I was given what I have asked for. and they delivered it and I am proud of them. it's just that... I guess it was me... I cannot verbalised what was missing but I know something is... I am not upset or anything... I just dunno how to verbalise it

I really needa tok to him... but he's just not around for me to tok to.... =(

2008-02-14T07:19:00.000-08:00

In Luke 5,

12While Jesus was in one of the towns, a man came along who was covered with leprosy. When he saw Jesus, he fell with his face to the ground and begged him, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean."13Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" And immediately the leprosy left him.

I wish I can be like Jesus... poor girl... I dunno wad to do so that I dun ostracise her... but yet prevent other children from it... poor girl... I hope the school can do something about it... I am praying hard for her... poor girl...

honestly... I am scared myself... but I really really wanna help her.... looking at her makes my heart ache... but I am really really scared too... then in the lift... I was reminded of the story of Jesus and the leper... with a little boost of confidence... I asked God's hand of protection and hair protection to be on everyone else and me...

tmr will be it

cant understand wad I am saying?? nvm not impt anyway hahaha...

CNY

2008-02-08T10:08:00.000-08:00

not tt I have anything to blog abt CNY... but yeah....

I just got to know that one of my friend broke up with his gf of sometime becoz they think they wouldnt be good as a married couple. I got such a huge shock that I kept asking if he was serious. and he said he was... I was SHOCKED... I always thought it was a sooner or later kinda of thing that they will get married... and it got me thinking... although I cant even say that I am ur gf now but it still got me thinking...

sometimes (in different circumstances) it scares me to see how you put other people first, even before me. how you toked to me abt me putting other people first... to be a "minister" to other people. but that doesnt come from me. it comes from u putting other people first before me and justify it to me becoz I should have your other people before me...

I wonder if that is going to happen when my status change to being ur spouse... they say it will never change even when u get married... so... even if I am ur wife, is it still going to be the same? tat you put other people first before ur wife or family because ur wife or family ought to put others before them? that ur wife or family gets put aside becoz u are so caught up putting other people first and doing ur ministry?

Dont try to spent your whole life trying to save the whole world but in the end you lose your family.

if that happens... what's the point even if ur ministry is successful?

AHHH!!

2008-02-07T07:56:00.000-08:00

Hmmm!! I found two plays that I wanna watch!! hehehe

“Great energy, no actor stands still!” “The energy and razor-sharp comic projection never faltered for even a minute!” - The Straits Times

Fresh from their 19-show sellout run of the hit musical If There’re Seasons…, The Theatre Practice switches from pulling your heart strings to tickling your funny bone!

Starring Joanna Dong, Ric Liu, Darius Tan, Jonathan Lim and a host of amazing actors, The Soldier & His Virtuous Wife is a modern send-up of a “Chinese period comedy of errors” – it tells the tale of a poor man who is sent to the army the day after his wedding, and finally returns 10 years later!

Filled with nostalgic melodrama, uproarious irreverence, a campy habit of breaking into song and dance, The Soldier & His Virtuous Wife is packed with great entertainment for the whole family!

So don’t wait – tickets look set to be the hottest of the season!

ANYBODY INTERESTED??? If not... I think I would go alone.... but thats so sad.... *poutz*

SYNOPSIS

THE PILLOWMAN IS BACK BY OVERWHELMING DEMAND!

The Pillowman received rave reviews when it ran in London, New York and then in Singapore last year. The Asian premiere here featured the top talent of the Singapore stage - Adrian Pang, Michael Corbidge, Daniel Jenkins and Shane Mardjuki.

As a result of its sold-out season, SRT is delighted to announce a limited encore performance commencing March 26th with the same cast.

With the twists of a thriller, and the twisted logic of a horror film, The Pillowman is darkly funny and surprisingly poignant. Katurian, a writer of terrifying short stories, has been newly imprisoned and is questioned by the police, who scale new heights of brutality - and black humour - with their version of the good cop/bad cop mind game. Along the way, the reasons for the storyteller's capture are revealed in a viciously entertaining cat-and-mouse game that has you on the edge of your seat.

Quite unalike to anything seen before on a stage, The Pillowman will inhabit your dreams long after you have experienced it.

Don’t miss this opportunity to watch the most talked about play of 2007.

found a companion for this one lo! =)

SYNOPSIS
“The History Of Singapore is quite possibly going to be remembered as a landmark production for Singapore comedy.”
Hong Xinyi, The Straits Times Life!

The Dim Sum Dollies return with their hilarious version of The History of Singapore after a SOLD OUT run in 2007!

The Dollies take on Sang Nila Utama, Samsui Women, Japanese Pilots and more, as they spice up “history” with song, dance and social commentary!

From relak island to getting kicked out of Malaysia, this is a laugh-out-loud romp for the locals, and an Insider’s Guide to Singapore for visitors!

Catch this Cabaret Comedy of Epic Proportions!
HISTORY will NEVER be the same again!

Book and lyrics by Selena Tan
Music and Musical Direction by Elaine Chan
Directed by Glen Goei
Starring Dim Sum Dollies Selena Tan, Pam Oei and Emma Yong, with Hossan Leong, accompanied by sizzling hot Loh Mai Guysand the LIVE Dim Sum Band

very local very humours! the other time when I caught it, the issues they made fun of were very current. they might change the current affairs but still it is highly recommended! =)

love is in the air

2008-02-04T18:57:00.000-08:00

OKie! it's Feburary and it's the month of "LOVE". But who cares?!? hahaha

Valentine's day can be everyday if u make an effort for it to be =)

HAHAHA!!! YAY!! I just got my Havis Slim in Graphite on Friday!! Thanx to Miss SHuaI! And I wore it the next day and monday and today! Have been finding it for dunno how long and wanted to get AhGua to buy from Brisse but I couldnt decide in time and he is back already. and then I missed miss V's date of flying back too. after tt I was trying to look for it but couldnt. BUT!! Shuai's the pro afterall... hahaha THANK U!! hehehehe

I know I screwed up big time... the tear that wil be difficult to mend. but because of how valuable I see it... I am going to work my way to mend it as far as God enables me too. It was a lesson learnt and I pray that this is not going to burn it, but bridged it so we can go a level up. I pray... God be my strength and my wisdom...

I know it is a gift... many people has commented it to me before. But I think I have misuse this gift... or should I say... I think I have not used it correctly, tactfully...

I remembered the first time I got accused of using it... I got really hurt...

I remember all the times I said them out... and felt really worried... how are we supposed to be as one if this happens all the time...

I remember the times I got misunderstood as shooting you down when I dun even meant it as that... How can I continue to guide and be a blessing if I am misunderstood as that...?

I really needa use it correctly... I have a gift. I just needa find a method to correctly channel it out to people around me...

people who are close to me...

OKIE! Happy stuff!

SUNDAY'S Group outing! =) We went opp to have Char Siew Rice for lunch first. yesh.. as weird as it is to have Char Siew Rice for a grp outing... our two dear friends (Janice and Annika) havent had the chance to eat there before. SO... HEY! come on we did a good thing for bringing them to somewhere that all ELIMITES should at least go once in their lifetime in Elim. haha to get across for the 9 girls was scary!! and guess wad... I think Becca did a good job leading us over to the char siew rice place. then we got stuck in the shop before it started pouring real badly. after some wait, the rain lightened, we had to cross the road again and we tried a few times but nobody dare to just take that step forward and go for it!! hahaha after feeling that it is really safe to cross... we made it over to the other side. and all the time.. it was raining lightly hahahah after, we trained to Clarke Quay together!!! hahaha the train was arriving and we were running down the stairs and some of them were IN the train already, but we realised that Chin Wei was stuck in the gantry because her card couldnt work... -_- so we waited for the next one. haha the next two hours spent in Settler's was just fun. although at the beginning we had a tough time trying to find some retarded games, we managed to get on it and just had fuN! =) with the retarded games. hahaha at the end of it... Sarah said... "We should come again!" and she added... "but this is our last group outing." as hard as it was... I assured them tt it was okie, we can still go out together as friends. yeap.. our first and last group outing... I have grown to really love them as individual and I am really gonna miss them!!

I was over at Becca's place yesterday to grab back my belt that that girl had conveniently took it with her after sunday's outing. stayed over for about an hour and was watching Sam pack her cupboard and was just chilling with them. It was kinda cool! reminds me of the time I would just bunk over at my friend's place in Brissie. I miss that totally...

I had a weird dream the other night. I dreamt of Genesis. not the first book of the Bible, but my good friend from Brissie. in my dreams.. I saw him in a shopping mall... and guess wad the saddest thing was...? we were eye to eye and he was talking to me but he couldnt recognise me... how horrific is that?!?! yesh.. HORRIFIC... I think I would cry if this really happens... I miss all of them so much... *bleah*

blankdotblankdotblankdot

2008-01-27T08:08:00.000-08:00

I have no idea why I end up at blogger. hahaha I have nothing to blog about cept that my mind has been blank the whole day. maybe perhaps other than Psalm 15.

Supposed to memorise it with Samantha two weeks back. HAhaha

I am not giving up. I just needed some time to pull back. pull myself back from jumping into a roar.

It keep coming back to me... If God didnt want this to happen... He would have put everything in this path to keep it from happening. but the fact that it happened in this way... there must be something to get out from... and know wad? He aint letting go til we learn what we have to learn... only to become more like how He wans us to be.

For probably the thousandth tme, I wondered what advice Professor von Kempem would have given me if he were still alive. I remembered that once, when I became frustrated that my fingers were not long enough to reach a certain extension, my frail teacher edged forward on his hard pine chair until I was afraid he would slide right off. "Every musician," he said as if reciting a prayer, "discovers that God has given him faulty equipment. That's where the difference between an ordinary musician and a great artist lies - how they face their shortcomings." - Mark Salzman, The Soloist

strangely I saw a different perspective of what Paul said about breaking that wall... keep going at it til it softens... Amazing... and talk about going to feel really uncomfortable... this year... is going to be a great year... LEVEL UP!

Daddy, may I learn these fast and well... so that I wont have to go thru them again!!

cry baby

2008-01-20T05:51:00.000-08:00

Just let me say
How much I love You
Let me speak of Your mercy and grace
Just let me live
In the shadow of Your beauty
Let me see You face to face
and the earth will shake
as Your word goes forth
And the heavens
can tremble and fall
but let me say how much I love You
O my Savior, my Lord and Friend

Just let me hear
Your finest whispers
As You gently call my name
And let me see
Your power and Your glory
Let me feel Your spirit's flame
Let me find You in the desert
'Til this sand is holy ground
And I am found completely surrendered
To You, my Lord and Friend

So let me say
how much I love You
With all my heart I long for You
For I am caught
in the passion of knowing
This endless love
I've found in You
And the depth of grace, the forgiveness found
To be called a child of God
Just makes me say
How much I love You
O my Savior, my Lord and Friend

And the depth of grace, the forgiveness found
To be called a child of God

Just makes me say
How much I love You
O my Savior, my Lord and Friend

When I started singing this song during altar this morning... My glance just didnt know for what reason went to him. I saw the way he sang to this song... "Just let me say how much I love You..." I actually saw Big Daddy's glory all over that face that seem so frail... but it's all strengthened by His glory... I couldnt hold back any emotions and I just wanna break down. I was controlling really hard not to break down on stage and tried to sing. As I sang to the words... I couldnt help but feel so ashamed of myself... who am I to complaint about my life and still sometimes struggle to worship and praise Him... yet there he is... sitting there, singing this song from his heart and know that He is his Healer... when wad is visible doesnt seem to include "healing" in it's dictionary... "Just makes say how much I love You, O my Savior, my Lord and Friend."

Big Daddy... thanx for letting me see what I saw today... it was a precious lesson learnt... thru someone's life... You showed yourself and taught me something so awesome and precious... I will always rem that sight of Your glory over him...

Chocolate Brownie

2008-01-18T10:04:00.001-08:00

I still love chocolate brownie...

Although the chocolate brownie did not turn out as how the recipe put it... I still love chocolate brownie...

Although I think the chocolate brownie recipe still need some adjusting... I still love chocolate brownie...

Although chocolate brownie isnt exactly chocolate brownie YET... I still love chocolate brownie...

Chocolate brownie need some work, I am sure the Baker will know wad adjustment to make to make sure that it will make it to the store

----

Apple crumble's crust seems to crumble too much.

I dunno how to start eating the apple crumble...

should I start with the apple fillings? should I start with the crust?

should I start from the back? or should I start from the front?

Should I have it with ice cream? or just plain apple crumble?

I know the Baker is at work with the high-crumble-tendency apple crumble crust. I just hope that the crust stays together the next time it gets cut up.

I love apple crumble and I dont wanna see it crumble...

----

Tiramisu seems abit too soft these days...

maybe it has been left out on the table for too long.

there isnt any cold air that could surround it and help it stay together.

I hope the Baker will get the refrigerator repaired soon. cold air is needed by the tiramisu...

I love tiramisu too and I hope that the tiramisu will let the surrounding cold air will firm it up. and not to rely only on the refrigerator.

The Baker is needed everywhere. And I know the Baker can handle it =)

HAHAHA!~ What I wrote actually gave me an idea for something. But we will see how that's gonna work out ;)

-----

"This year, you will go up a notch higher"

"You are going to get uncomfortable" - (not tt I am already not)

"You have to persevere and slowly move that wall"

"Becareful and guard urself" - (this is really sccary!!)

BIG DADDY!!!! *cling on to Him*

One more down!!

2008-01-15T06:40:00.000-08:00

YAY-ness!! as my sis would have put it.

Satisfied one more craving. STEAMBOAT!

Had a great time with the girls on sunday nite at COCA steamboat. I hope shuai knows wad COCA Steamboat now =)

I almost tot I brought one hungry ghost out to the steamboat that night... U'd be amazed at the rate and amount that hungry ghost is eating. She ate 2 plates of pig's liver by herself... followed on by 2 plates of sliced beef. she just kept whacking and whacking that pig's liver and sliced beef... hungry ghost she is. Shuai doesnt eat piggy stuff... so guess who that hungry ghost is -_-

Had fun telling them about my massage experience, glad to see them laugh after all the food and everyone was getting slpy... hahaha. overall... it was fun at steamboat!! =) YAY!

Aunty called that day and she said alot of stuff... before that I asked if it was going to be a sex tok... since reading deborah's blog hahaha I was just kidding. I knew she would take some time and I wanted to give her my full attention... I settled the kids and went out of CareHut for awhile. Called her and she called back after. I was moved to tears hearing her say all the things that she had to say. It wasnt anywhere near sex talk... in fact... I felt really loved by her. I tot about the lunch she would pack for me, the smiles that she would give even when she's across the sanctuary, the look she would always give when she was about to leave, the hugs that she gives. To hear her say that she's praying for me and my call means alot to her, I couldnt hold back any tears... She's the kind of mother I would love to have, a mother that would pray for her daughter, a mother that supports her daughter's call of God. I know my mum loves me too, its just a different way. hmmm about that, aren't I just so blessed to have 2 mother's love? HEHEE to hear that she treat me like her very own... I was just... tearing.

And silly her still thought that I would be offended by her concern

Well... I just have to say it here... I LOVE YOU AUNTY!! ;) u have no idea how blessed I am with ur love to me ;) and NO.. i am not offended AT ALL ;) not like she is ever going to read my blog.. oh well...! =)

blogging in... P=A=R=T=S

2008-01-12T06:25:00.000-08:00

OKie!

Satisfy-ED my craving for frog leg JooK =) Would have loved to go down and eat Dao Huey and then further gone some more for herbal jelly. But... tummy too small... nevertheless... Jook was GOOODD!! =)

heartmelt moment.

looking for an empty space on the paper, she took the marker pen in her hand and gone on to draw... ONE stroke.

Darlyn: Jie Jie Amy!

i didnt had any chance to speak, she carried on to draw another stroke

Darlyn: Kor Kor Sashi!

*heartmelt*

she carried on drawing strokes naming them one by one saying Kor kor, to Jie Jie, to Daddy to Mummy, to Grandad to Grandma...

However, in my mind, I was amazed at the fact that she drew her "Kor Kor Sashi" after she drew her "Jie Jie Amy"

At one moment, she drew her Kor Kor Sashi and Jie Jie Amy side by side and said, Kor Kor Sashi and Jie Jie Amy.

*heartmelt*

How in the world did she relate Jie Jie Amy to Kor Kor Sashi. In my mind, it felt like as if she knew... that Kor Kor Sashi and Jie Jie Amy are together. That she drew them together. She didnt name any other people except her own family members. Its truly amazing to what extend that kids, even her age, can see the world around them.

was out with YY the other day and I was surprised at my own reaction to what she posted to me. I couldnt have communicated what was on my mine clearer than that. It felt like I have rehearsed it one thousand and one times. Through the ability that I have sharing with her, God reminded me of my calling, my first love, my first burning passion, my first dream... the journey that I went through, the breaking, the moulding and the burning furnace... the things that He is capable to do in my life, the providence, the guidance, the wisdom...

At the end, she could see that I knew exactly what I want in my life and have plans for at least til 2009 and she was happy for me. =)

I cannot say that I have reached there yet, but I know and I hold on to the fact that God will bring me there.

Thanx YY!! And please slap me and remind me of what I have shared with you the other day if I ever come crying to u one day. U are like... my best friend ever! =) *hugz* And I am willing to walk with u thru what u are going thru. though I may not be the best one to seek advice in. I am always here. just needa give me a few missed calls. HEH!! =P

It was a small talk, but in that, I knew... that it's never going to take place til God thinks I am ready. He has been preparing me for it. making me learn over and over again if I didnt get it... if He didnt think I was "fit" enough to pass. making me learn new things. It's amazing... the things and situations He brings me through to make me learn SPECIFIC things. It can never be clearer that they are the learning points He wants to be learn. More and more clearly, I know, this is just a stepping stone for greater things He has in my life. I just have to prepare myself to be ready for it.

Same for us, I am certain there are alot of things that God wants us to learn in this period of our lives. What his mum shared with him hit me again today... WE BOTH have a calling in our lives. BOTH, not just me... not just him... BOTH of us. Not that I do not ALREADY know that... just that it hit me again today. *looks up at Big Daddy* And somehow, I am certain, that as much as I wish I can say "I do" earlier... I am not going to until we both are ready, in whatever way that God wants us to be ready... for God, for ourselves, for each other... so that in our calling... we glorify no one else but Him.

LA LA LA DI DI DA DA!!~

2008-01-08T08:10:00.000-08:00

was thinking abt food that night and.... i got ONE WHOLE LIST of cRAVINGS

1. White pepper crab from NoSIgnBoard - oooOoooOo BODY parts PLEASE!! =)

2. Frog legs JooK from Geylang

3. Hokkien mee from Geylang

4. Beef hor fun from Geylang

5. Durians by the streets from Geylang

6. Sambal KangKong

7. Statchy statchy oyster egg

8. Mushroom soup

9. French fries! - from school! hahaha

10. something.... SPECIAL... hehehe

OKIE... my list of cravings. if only my tummy can stomach all that in one day then I will satisfy my cravings in one meal!! maybe... find some tablet thingy tt works =)

that phone call was.... very special to me.

that comment to my colleague was even more special *BEAMS*

and 9th Jan is a special day. I remembered wad happened 3 years ago =)

I WANT THAT SWIMMING POOL!!! Went to Yio Chu Kang area to see the houses there and me and Shuai saw one damn nice house for rent and it was opened so we went in there and peek!! hehehe I LOVE THE SWIMMING POOL!! DADDY I WANT!! hahaha *loves the swimming pool!!**

on the less brighter note... I kept thinking abt 12th Jan and I couldnt get to slp last nite... should I or should I not? Should I keep quiet or make my point?? hmmmm....

2008!!

2008-01-05T05:30:00.000-08:00

already 5 days into the new year and so much has happened!!

First of all! e-Kids is on YOUTUBE!!! =) I am so proud of my God! hahaha Without Him... All these are nothing. =)

The HIGHLIGHTS!!!

The I'VE BEEN THINKING!!!

The FABULOUS!!

The HAPPY SONG FINALE DANCE!!

=) Even though I watched it one thousand and one times already. I just can't help beaming looking at these videos. All the hardwork, frustrations, pressures, stress... was ALL worth it

One of the main things I have thank God for during friday's thanksgiving lunch at CCSS, was this awesome opportunity that God has blessed me with. I hold it close to my heart. Again, I am so proud of each and everyone of them. the dancers as well. =) GREAT JOB ONCE AGAIN! and the card was so sweet of u guys!! as much as all of u thank me for teaching u guys stuff... u guys taught me ALOT of stuffs as well... and I would do it all over again! =)

Paul said my season has began =) *excited*

I couldnt hold back my tears as I thank God for all the things that happened in 2007. yeapz... the ups.. and the DOWNS...

I have many many things to thank God for and I bet the list will be super long if I were to write all of them down. But without God in all these... I am just a big ZERO.

WATCHNIGHT!!

Man was I SCARED!! hehehe but all's good. I left everything at Jesus' feet... as I told Him.. I am not doing this without You by my side... I did wat I can and left the rest to God

Did I mention that Paul said my season has began?? =)

zzZZzzZz

2007-12-28T08:42:00.000-08:00

It's been a real struggle lately to drive home... and its a danger struggle... I found myself having to force my eyes open most of the time and struggle to keep awake behind the wheels... things is... this happens like consecutively the past few days...

the continuous early morning shift for the past few days aint helping at all...

and now... I am having a bad headache... and I still got things to settle...

My eyes now are like.... those that were behind the wheels ...

darn...

Some people can still take naps in the afternn....

God strengthen me!!! yes yes yes... I am prolly going thru all these becoz I asked for strength earlier on so that I can be strengthen by the situations that God had placed me in right now... weird? strange??

"My ways are not your ways"

2 part post =)

2007-12-22T07:48:00.000-08:00

First of all!! Its the 22 DECEMBER 2007!!

Okie... my day today was... PACKED BACK TO BACK WITH STUFF from 10.... 9am in the morning til 10 pm at nite!! hmmmm

It started out with a fast fast drive from Hougang to NIE/NTU-ish area. then a 15 mins rush back from there to church coz meeting starts at 10am and I was a tad bit late... sorry...!! Never knew it take only a 15 mins drive from NIE/NTU-ish area to church. haha

AND I FORGOT TO CALL SHUAI TO WAKE HER UP!! coz i woke up at 7:45... that's why i totally forgot abt the 8:30 morning call... i caused her to be really late for the meeting... I'M SORRY!!!

Spent a lil time by myself praying there... Spent some time remembering what happened... and I cant help but tears just welled up... Nothing else I can do... but pray for God to intervene...

meeting for the next too hours before I rush to sunday school to settle stuff with SHUAI... thank God for SHUAI availing herself to help!!

1pm was music practice... with an empty and angui tummy... coz it was hurting me by then.. ate lunch after

2pm went up to sunday school and get them to get ready for the full dress rehearsal!!

Did I mention we were going to Yishun to perform the musical we plan for Christmas? AWESOME opportunity aint it?? =)

DID I MENTION that I WAS REALLY PROUD OF THEM?? all the animals, the dancers, my lil projectionist! THANKS TO COW(Kenneth), CAMEL(Eugene), PIG(Gerrard Ed), DONKEY(Sarah Ed), LAMB(Natasha) and ROOSTER(Yvonne) not forgetting DOVE, Miah, Debz, Becca, Charleen and SHUAI!! They did a really good job despite the technical difficulties, poor crowd response, one lost glove and some stumbles here and there!! I am so touched by their performance although I was the scriptwriter, the Director and have seen the performance upteen times! I just help but SMILE. It felt like they were performing for an audience of one, and thats God =)

SMS from Ps Glen to hear him say a job well done! and that he is very proud of me was... PRICELESS and very reassuring. to know that my SP took time out to come to Yishun to watch was... indescribable =) its really cool!!

PHEW!! that was basically my day today!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

part 2....

This is MY battle...

This is THE battle....

This is the battle for my life...

This is the battle for my calling...

This is the battle for my eternity...

I have a battle to fight... A battle of my own.... A battle to fight on my own...

Sash was right... this battle links with the emotional part of me...

and I hv to win this battle on my own...

Sweet sound in Your ear

2007-12-20T08:40:00.000-08:00

I love You Lord and I lift my voice

To worship You, oh my soul rejoice

Take joy my King in what You hear

Let it be a sweet sweet sound in Your ear

May the production be a sweet sight unto our eyes Lord. =) Please intervene in everything and have it Your way.

I take no credits for this production even though my name was flashed BIG on the trailer as Director and Producer.

This is for Your glory

EMO-ING....

2007-12-13T09:29:00.000-08:00

Okie... I am really trying to understand... maybe I see the different view... alright... that's ... okie... I guess...

So now I dun even know whether I should even say hi...

Or occasionally find you during lunch...

Or smile at you...

Or hav a small chat with you after service...

Or say Hi to ur mum...

Or be myself when u are around...

I am keeping a distant...

Okie... so now... you get all the time to tok to other people... becoz we dont want other people to get the wrong idea... so... I leave u alone... you get to have fun, tok, be yourself in front of everyone else, sit with people u want to... ALL except for me...

What was wrong with before...? Now... I am letting myself stay away from u... like seriously away....

you get to do everything that u have to do, everything that you need to do... then when I finally can get the time at the end of the day to just stop u for a moment and wanted to discuss some stuff with u... abt ministry... all I get is a "I've got to rush off..." Dont I get just 5 mins...? just 5?? 5 mins to say that Why not we tok on the phone ltr...?? rather than a... I've really gotta go....??

Or is it that we cant even tok on the phone right now...??

What about all the tok that we are still cool with each other? so... why cant we do things like normal friends do? just becoz we are afraid that other people might think otherwise? People that we toked too might think that oohh.. maybe they are not serious about what they say about breaking up... thats why they are still toking to one another... didnt we explain that we are still cool with each other...? so what now...?

You said as if we were done toking that nite... it was just a brainstorming-cum-saying thoughts out time... I only took down some vague mental notes... I was still trying to get u see how I am seeing my idea and you were just getting to see where I am coming from... so... to you, that was FINISHED? Jesus needa go up on a cross to say "It is finished" and you think a small tok and some thinking out loud ideas is considered finished? If that is the quality of work you want to put in it... then expect that kind of quality of work to be presented... And if that's the kind of quality that you are looking for... then sorry, I am not interested... dun expect a miracle to happen just by that 15 mins of tok...

I need ideas to help them tok abt what you have in mind to get them to share abt... it is not as simple as u think... I needa brainstorm exactly what needs to be said, help and guide them along... not just throw me an idea with vague details and expect me to get it done... and expect it to end of with a BANG... I am not a miracle machine generator. I need people to work alongside with me... If I am doing something for God... I wanna give my best... everything that I can offer...

2007-12-12T08:37:00.000-08:00

His presence was so strong in the sanctuary today its amazing...

Certain things...

2007-12-10T01:58:00.000-08:00

Certain things that certain people had mentioned made me.... kinda.... VERY PISSED...

And btw, we are still NOT together... so... the teasing AINT helping me at all...

Yes I know, he is special to me, NO denial, and NO I WILL NOT DENY that. And yes, we are working on it. But that doesnt mean we are together... we are NOT, NOT, NOT N-O-T and thats that. PERIOD.

I love looking at him, I love toking to him, I love to hang out with him. THAT IS WHAT I DO WITH FRIENDS. GOOD FRIENDS, SPECIAL FRIENDS. I take time out to meet YY for dinner even when I am busy. I take time out going for a movie with Shuai just becoz she wanted to watch it. I take time out to send Shuai and YY back when we go out (ok, shuai, sometimes only, coz she stays kinda far la... hahaha) I take time out to talk to Sulin online or SMS. I tend to stick to my these people when we are at a big party. We sit in a car alone, becoz sometimes, my car can only take TWO, TWO people. I take time out to just spend time with them. That is how I TREAT MY FRIENDS. Oh, did I mentioned that I go out with guy friends alone as well? I catch theatre shows with Kelvin before, just the BOTH OF US, not much of a problem. SO, right now, HE IS MY FRIEND. So... get over it already... You cannot dictate how I should treat my own friends....

And YES we still tok abt alot of stuff... STUFF that I can share with FRIENDS... but... we are NOT together... N-O-T!

Did I mention I was pissed?

Standing in awe

2007-12-03T01:34:00.000-08:00

It's a beautiful day and I am at Terminal 1's viewing mall. Decided to hang around here after work since will be sending the missions team off later. =)

It has been a clear day and I saw BLUE sky while on my way here in the car. COOL... the exact weather that cheers me up and make my day.

My highlight of the week!

It felt really good, nice, warm, comforting... and I mean REALLY good just to spend that few mins with you. fooling around, making fun of you and vice versa, it was just... just talking. not directed at any particular subject, JUST talking. Seeing that smile and laugh made me disappear into our own world. and yeah, that was the highlight of my week =)

I am working on it... I felt lost at the table... but I am working on it...

"Feeling lost?" was your question to me. honestly, yea I felt a little lost....OKIE... maybe more than a lil... But... it was okie... I am working on it... though it felt much more comfortable being with you. But comfort is not the word that should be commonly used here nowadays....

*BIG SIGH* Its been officially ONE MONTH! okie... happy because, it has been ONE MONTH!! sighing because there is still SEVENTEEN more to go... according to the time frame la... not like I am counting down... I would probably go crazy doing that. but well, I'm glad that one month is gone. managing is better than barely surviving. so I suppose that's good. =)

That nice lady bought chocolates, a pair of my fav hoopies (hoop earrings) and a necklace for me from her trip to EUROPE. Yeap, that Sash's mum. *beams* AHHH!!! *heartmeltz and feeling loved, REALLY loved* =) SO SWEET !! I LOVE HER =) awwwwww.... *beams*

ups and downs of life

2007-11-27T16:54:00.000-08:00

FIRST of all!! HAPPY STUFF FIRST!! MUAHA!

"Buy a box! Get a box! Be a better person buy a box!

Buy a box! Get a box! Be a better person buy a box!

Buy a box! Get a box! Be a better person buy a box!"

We went to watch "You are special" musicial on sat (17 Nov) and MAN it was good!! to see my favourite children's book turn into life infront of me was undescribable!! I sat there amazed at how a book can be turned into a musical. I sat there and I was like... THIS IS the EXACT thing that God had placed in my heart about creative arts ministry!! turning a book of such content into a play in a church and I can so visualise when the Pastor would step out and gave a short sharing then an altar call for pre-believers!! EXCITED!! but when reality hit me... I know... that is going to take ALOT of hardwork... looking at the current production I have on hand, it pales in comparision.... they are not even in the same league to begin with!! But... it's going to start somewhere.... and since I hav got God with me, who can be against me? =)

I actually tot that if it is going to take me 20 years to reach that "vision" that God have given me... will I still stand by it... its hard... I pray that I have that much perseverance to go thru with that progess... but if that is the plan that God has for me... I will stick by it with the grace of God ;)

Lil fighter told me one day that she had a surprise for me. which, I have absolutely NO idea wad is it... then came friday and GUESS wad?!?! I GOT A BOX!!

Cute RIGHT!?!? INstantly cheered! those who know will know wad does this mean... those who doesnt... TOO BAD!! hahahaha!!

"Buy a box! Get a box! Be a better person buy a box!

Buy a box! Get a box! Be a better person buy a box!

Buy a box! Get a box! Be a better person buy a box!"

then again, was she trying to say that I NEED a box becoz I am not that a GOOD person so I need to be a better one?!?! HUH?!?! hehehehe ;) LOVES SAMANTHA!! so sweet of her! =)

When I stepped into the relationship, it was for good... as much as we are on a break now... to me, he will always be my baby... even with boundaries set... it is up to me who is he too me. NOBODY can stop how I feel towards him... or say that it is not right... or thinks that it is wrong. Even if he doesnt treat me as someone special, it aint going to stop me from feeling how I am feeling. I am true to how I feel and will not compromise to ANYBODY... As much as previously sometimes I would really be angry with him that I would think that we should go on a break... but deep inside, I know that he is the only one that I wanna be with for the rest of my life.

okie.. he is so going to think that I AM CHEESY... *bleah*

SAsh's mum called me this afternn. She just touched down in the morning from her trip to EUROPE!! man I am jealous! Well, this nice lady called me just to find out how I was doing and HOW SWEET IS THAT!! I was beaming with smiles all the while. She was telling me how good the trip was and how she has enjoyed herself and how cold it was and how I should make a trip there too when I AM YOUNG. hahaha hmmmmm HE HE HE HE feeling loved =)

the 3 carehuts had a combined Playback theatre workshop yesterday. One girl from another carehut was sharing with the teacher-in-charge of that particular carehut that... "Eunos carehut's students are so well-behaved. They ask Aunty Amy for permission for everything. And they all listen to her". When my colleague tot me that, I instantly beamed. I am so proud of my kids =) Before that, my supervisor also did mentioned to me that among all the 3 carehuts, Eunos kids are generally the better ones, they basically do what is told to them by the teachers. At first, I dun think so, coz when I went to the interview, I was told that this center is generally harder to managed as there are more boys. Well, I am glad that God intervene in the center =)

Picking myself up

2007-11-12T08:01:00.000-08:00

Coming to week two... I think I feel much better now... I am not as EMO as I used to be =)

Maybe becoz I think I am acting normal in front of him now. What he said was true... He felt like I was kinda aloof towards everything. I didnt know wad to do and I didnt know what to say.

Finally, I decided to just say whatever I wanna say and do whatever I wanna do lo.

I hav no recollection how that happened... oh well...

Oh I remembered... it was last friday heh =)

I finally realised that I can still love him as him. Not committed doesnt mean I have to try to hate him, not committed doesnt mean I cannot talk to him as if I love him. Not committed doesnt mean I cannot treat him special, not committed doesnt mean I cant even stand close to him, not committed doesnt mean I cannot laugh with him, not committed doesnt mean I cant discuss things with him.

Yes... I still do miss him.

This feelin is mutual... loadsa time, I caught myself wanting to call him "baby" or "darlin"... and there was one I actually did. haha... just hav to get used to it I guess. heh

I actually think that it will be quite cool when we get back together further down the road... can u imagine going thru so much and then finally come one day we will be back together and tt will be for life? it's like giving to a growing plant and by the end of the season, there are fruits to harvest? sorta like tt =)

I wanna work on being a better girlfriend =)

He assured me that he is going to tell his dad even before the 1.5 years is up. knowing that he is ready to fight the battle together with me, made me feel supported and not so lonely. thanx dearie... =)

******************************************************************

We had our sausage party on DEEPAVALI!! it was super fun shopping for all the groceries and deciding what sausage to buy. Thanks for all who turn up and every appearance made the whole thing a blast!! pour Gid had to cut the super big onion and man it was HUGE!! =) THANX to ALL who have contributed, be it garlic or milk or just landing a hand in helping us out! =) my first sausage bun was SUPER good!! like DAMN good!! *open eyes* overall, as I said it was a BLAST!! I want more !! hahaha ENCORE!! hehehe =)

saturday was crazy...

COLD ROCK @ Holland V SUCKS.... it's SOOO not nice compared to the one in Australia... I wanna go back to AUSSIE!! PERI PERI CHIPS.... *drools* my advise is to fly to Australia and check out the Cold Rock there. dun bother spending 7 bucks on some ice cream that has been compromised on the quality... sad... WAY over-priced and low on quality.... then again, I doubt its advisable to fly to Australia to try Cold Rock. HA... ;)

A feeling so hard to describe

2007-11-07T09:58:00.000-08:00

Its been a week now and tears well up whenever it gets later in the night... as I quieten down my thoughts...

I could no longer call u like how I would use to...

I could no longer sms u like how I would always do...

I could barely open my eyes in the morning for the pass few days...

I miss the times we went rollerblading and runnin together...

I miss the times we held hands and walk the streets...

I miss the times I lay my head on ur shoulders...

I miss the times you piggy back me on your back...

I miss the times you made my heart melt...

I miss the times you would put ur finger in my mouth and pull it one side... making me look stupid and silly...

I miss the times we seat together in church...

I miss the times I hear you laugh at the dumbest thing I could ever do...

I miss the times when you would look at me and I would know that you wanna say you love me...

I happen to come across some photos in photobucket.com... photos we took when you came over and visit me in Brisbane... the photos we took in Surfer's paradise outside a shop while waiting for Josh to browse his stuff...

I know this is not going to be forever... this season came... and winter is going to pass... but nevertheless... wo de xin hao tong... hao tong hao tong...

E.....M.....O.....

2007-11-05T05:19:00.000-08:00

Current location : Maccas at Lido

His mighty hand

2007-11-04T08:14:00.001-08:00

As I was just trying to immerse myself in His presence... asking Him to let me draw close to Him... He gave me a vision similar to this... with His almighty hand He stretched out... waiting for me to reach out and grab that hand...

I wanna grab Your hand and jump onto Your hand and seat in Your embrace.... My Abba Father...

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when I see people running along the streets... I think about you...
when I see someone wearing All Blacks Jersey... I think about you...
when I see my mobile phone... I think about you...
when I go online... I think about you...
when I wear my watch... I think about you...
when I hang out with the peeps... I think about you...
when I finally see you... I actually miss you...

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I do not understand.... but....

the voice of truth says "This is for My glory"

Draw me close

2007-11-01T23:57:00.000-07:00

Draw me close to You

Never let me go

I lay it all down again

To hear You say that I'm Your friend

You are my desire

No one else will do

Cause no one else can take Your place

To feel the warmth of Your embrace

Help me find the way

That brings me back to You

I couldnt hold it back anymore... before our mini devotion started... I stood there and I was like...

Big Daddy... Help... I am struggling to worship You... How I supposed to praise You? I dont want to stand here and be a hyprocrite...

Help me find the way that bring me back to You...

I wanna lay back against You in Your embrace... But yet I struggle to worship You... praise You for all that You've done...

help me find the way that bring me back to You...

I couldnt take it that I had to leave... I couldnt stay out too long so I went back in....

"to do, so we magnify You..."
"it is only for Your glory..."

I will never be able to deny that You have been pretty prompt on whatever question that I asked You and it's amazing... and I just wanna run away and spend time with You... and You alone

A new beginning

2007-11-01T08:41:00.000-07:00

This is my new blog