Saturday, May 24, 2008
*__sIlLyGiRl] posted at 8:43 AM
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This tot just dawn on me that day when I was stuck in a traffic jam trying to get to church...
"Only God knows my heart..."
the way the children in my center behaves when I am around compared to when my colleague is around is VERY different. I am mostly the disciplinarian in the center.... most of the time... if not ALL... It's really sad to see them playing and enjoying, having fun with my colleague. but when it comes to me, they are just... SCARED.... of coz, there are times when they would play with me, like catching is their favourite game. or the occasional card games we play.... "later Aunty Amy scold" is something that I hear very often... hard to take? definitely... easy job?? definitely NOT... is it going to stop me?? NOPE...
"Train a child the way he should go and when he grows old, he will never depart from it"
I am not quoting word for word, but the gist is there for me to hold on to...
disciplining them might be the hardest thing to do to them.. the most torturous treatment... but I would explain to them why they are being punished before executing the punishment... at least, I know, on my courts.. I have done wad I can do... the balls... are theirs to take...
Some times I would think if they'd ask my colleague "Where is Aunty Amy ?? WHy she never come today??" when I am not around.... just like how they'd ask me if my colleague was absent from work... I sure do wish they will ask...
that day when I went off to see a doc to check up my leg, they must be wondering where I'd hv gone to...
the next day I got back to work, and this girl came and ask me.. "AUnty Amy, ur leg still painful??" *INSTANT HEARTMELT MORE INSTANT THAN INSTANT NOODLES..* AWWWW....!
Yes... truth is... the negative things are always very difficult to swallow... the negative things at work seems so prominently appearing in the things I see... the negative things that encourages me to give up... but God gave us all a CHOICE... and I choose to stop looking at these negative things and shift my focus to God alone...
if my connection with Him fails... everything else fails... even if I try to NOT look at the negative things... I still would becoz... my connection fail...
when my connection is in place... by God's grace... the things that I look at seems different... makes it more hopeful... makes it more cheerful... makes it all so brighter....
the tooth that I plucked out tells me that I was part of the child's first few tooth that dropped out and Aunty Amy was the one who helped her with it... the first time she got 10/10 for her spelling when previously she struggle to even write the letter "S"... the times when he successfully came back, lunch-ed, shower-ed, within the time frame that we gave him... the smiles that I see when they gave me the lil letters wit the hearts on it... the times when the were so proud about someting good that they hv done and they know that Aunty Amy will be so proud of them... the times when I held his hand and walked with him to the dentist but he kept saying he's scared... the times when I dress their wounds when they fell during games time... the drawings that I find presented to me with red coloured hearts... the cards I get with self made envelopes... the politeness I get to see them asking me for a favour with a "please"... the ability to fold his own sleeping bag... the ability to learn spelling on her own...
They are the good and positive things that I choose to look at...
David mentioned God 9 times while he only mentioned Goliath 2 times...
they might not be times that make me laugh... but they are times that I know... that as long as I teach them the right way to go... I have done my best and done my part... they can choose to not listen and follow... they can choose to hate me and ask why is Aunty Amy so cruel to them and dont care abt them and say that I punish them all the time... But I pray that somehow.. someday... somewhere... they will still knw.. that when they were young... there is this Aunty Amy, though fierce, have thought them some life skills that stuck with them through the years... and that Aunty Amy actually cared so much about them, that she tried her best to teach them the way they should go...
I am going to fast my night internet time for the whole of next week... It's taking too much of my time lately and I wanna do some things that are more productive! hahaha like spending time with Big Daddy =)
Monday, May 19, 2008
*__sIlLyGiRl] posted at 6:59 AM
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Sash and Max organised a touch rugby game today since it is a public holiday!
For once, the girls get to play some sports since most of the time, selfish guys in church just stick to their own game of soccer... haha but it was nice to hav touch rugby today!! I had SOOOO MUCH FUN!!
Sash got all the carecell leaders to contact their members to let them know about today's game and I called out my members to come join! hehehehe in the end, Derek, Sherrilyn, Annika, Jerome, Leonard and Cherie came! hahaha it was SO fun!! we didnt had the inter-carecell game as tot it would be (maybe the next time!! =) ) but it was AWESOME !! ;)
Half time, the sole of my shoe came out and I decided to take them off and run with only my socks on. Cherie told me that it can be painful to run on some parts of the grass as she ran on barefoot for awhile just now. I didn give much tot into it and just went on with the game... in my black sockz...
abit into the second half... I saw Gid running towards me and there was space beside me. natural tot is to follow where he is going and make sure he doesnt get a chance to go pass me without being touched. sure enough he came towards my direction and I was watching him really closely, ready my both hands to touch him, I even decided that I would go for his right shoulders as he seems like he was coming by my right hand side. true enough he did and I steadily touched him..... YAY!!
BUT..................... the next thing I knew, his right foot went ONTO my right foot and I was down holding my foot.... I literally felt the studs on his shoes on my foot..... O......U.......C.......H.......
I was then helped outta the field by Sash and Jolin (THANK U!!) =) I was laughin at dunno wad when I was making my way to the sideline... HAHAHA it was jus... FUNNY...
And I spent the rest of the time on the sideline with Sam, Rae, CHerie, Becca and Lucas... I want to go play.....
Lucas was so kind to lend me his PSP to pass time on the sideline =)
Game ended with me still on the sideline of coz.... then we packed on went back to church. Cherie lent me her shoulders to lean on as we make out way back to church, brought me up the flight of stairs of overhead bridge.. as we head down the stairs, she was making her steps down the exact same way as I did with mine. I drop my left foot down one step, then drop the other one down the same step. it was so funny when Sash told her, "u can walked normally one u know, then u just walk slowly, wait for her". Poor girl! She tried, first few steps she was trying to co-ordinate her steps and speed. the next few steps.. she started to not know how to get down staircase NORMALLY. It was so funny just looking at the steps that she was making! she suddenly just didnt know how to co-ordinate her steps HAHAHAHA =) SO SWEEt of her can!! I was so touched by her gesture =)
we went back to church and bathed and went to hav dinner. after dinner, we walked out and met Ethan and his mum, stayed and chat for awhile and then..... Gid felt so sorry for my leg becoz... now... the part where his studs went ON my foot with the whole of his body weight was swollen... yeap! THANX GID! so I have two swollen parts where yah, basically that where his studs made contact with my dear foot... and then..... Jerome made this comment...
"hey! look like 2 durian seeds!"
-.- .......... thank you........
so yeap. my prize today at touch rugby --> Two durian seeds on my feet. =)
But I didnt even get to eat any durians to begin with...
I was hesistant, didnt know how to put my words together or whether if that is even necessary... but like I have told myself... when it comes to this kind of "eeerie and scary" thing... since I felt lead to.. I'd rather make no sense or make a mistake or set myself up to look foolish than to miss a chance to minister and speak into someone else's life whom God has placed in my heart. Coz, I'd rather look foolish, then to know that I hav missed that chance to be a blessing in someone's life, that will be really sad. So yeap! I thank God that you were so receptive abt it although it felt and looked like u were thrown off by wad I said =) but oh well...! like I said, I truly feel that it's just a glimpse of wad He can show you and it's just the beginning! ;)
Thursday, May 15, 2008
*__sIlLyGiRl] posted at 10:26 PM
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On tuesday, I felt like I was the luckiest creature on earth =) I felt most pampered !! =) I was practically smiling the whole day from the time I was up to when I was in class and when I got home =) At the end of the day, I realised that certain things that I tot would make be happy are just able to make me feel good for a short period of time. however, this happy moments are one of those that will stick with me for probably the rest of my lifetime =) something that came so rarely adds the freshness and blissfulness and the surprise element to it. something tht I will hold close to my heart! =)
I get so perked up by the look of lil fighter's blog. that shitty blog with a stench HAHAHA! I just couldnt help but smile after it finish loadin =) everytime! hahaha
She is getting that smell from her blog... hahahaha ;)
I took my first bus ride on my own for the first time in God knows how many months... hahaha it was good. people watching. personal reflection as I look out of the window. it wasnt a moody thing, though I was given the wrong directions!! it was very fresh as .... well... it was very outta the norm. it is good to do that at times. I enjoyed the rides in public transport but I also appreciate my car so much more. and know that I am so blessed.
I would give anything to relive that moment again. =) and I think I know wad that "anything" is. Like wad Ps Bea said everytime, one missed note, one off tune... isnt going to stop God from coming and take His place.
I had one of the best laugh I had while walking to prata shop for supper! HAHAHA *jumping five*
Lucas let me play this really fun and funny game on his PSP and I was tilting my whole body to the left apparently in an attempt to move the watery bubbly thing to the left HAHAHA it was so fun!! =)
Its amazing to hear from Sam that she had a "gut" feeling that I was going to change song. She said she was waiting for me to walk to zq. (hahaha thats funny) but I stand amazed at wad she told me and the gut feeling that she had. I dun really think it's a gut feeling gut feeling, maybe it was something else... ;) something bigger than just a gut feeling... she didnt expect the norm to be done which was really grool!
and I was amazed at the fact that I didnt had that "feeling" alone. that somehow, our focus was aligned with one another and we knw that there is another direction to head towards. it was some sort of like a... team direction. I really appreciate that the whole entire team were together and we worshipped tgt as a team, as one in unity. They accepted my idea openly and were so willing to work tgt with me... God was sovereign and so evident... once again, I stand amazed.. captured by His grace...
Its funny how some people uses one kind of ruler to measure themselves but a total different kind of ruler for other people. hahaha humans... TSK!
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
*__sIlLyGiRl] posted at 12:34 AM
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YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The reason? NO IDEA!! hahaha just felt like YAY-ing for a moment in the darkness and tiredness....
YEEEESSSS!!! in the midst of the chaos, the work, the sch, the church, the SF and I am still YAY-ing
HA!!
The joy of the Lord, IS MY STRENGTH!!! *dances about in excitement*
Thanx Same... u being there made all these easier to handle... and less stressful =)
Sunday, May 4, 2008
*__sIlLyGiRl] posted at 7:43 AM
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"This one, mummy sure plus guarantee chop OK one. hahaha He's one year younger than me and he is already earning more than me. He is those high flyer kind and holy holy one! He's father was a pastor but past away already. but then he's a Malaysian"
I wanted to tell u abt this... but I wasnt given a chance to...
I wanted to tell u something more... but I wasnt given a chance to...
I wanted to just say a lil pray for u... but I wasnt given a chance to...
I was just... not given a chance to...
There was once I called u on the phone... and was stunned upon hearing u the other end of the line and was speechless when u asked wad was it that I called... I realised it's been long since we had a decent phone chat... by decent phone chat I mean... calling for no reason and just hang on the phone and chat... I dowan to use the word "used to"... That I am used to it already... or it is something that I haven grown used to... but somehow, it felt... normal... it's as if it was like... the norm... that we dun hv such phone chats anymore... and somehow, being used to it seems the most appropriate to use here.
Friday, May 2, 2008
*__sIlLyGiRl] posted at 12:57 AM
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I spent a good whole day by myself on wednesday since it was my off day. *PHEW*
Just me, myself and I and the beach at sentosa and of coz ----> The beautiful sun =) and of coz! not fogetting a good book!
MUAHAHAHA after that HAPPY!! even though I had to go to class like a cooked lobster =) it was good!!
the things I do for cell lessons... kinda psychotic I'd say... but it's like an artistic expression and outlet for me hahaha!!
Well... they say it helps them to understand better and of coz... though I hav to go that extra mile to do up my own notes for them, I dont mind becoz in the mist of it. I learn better too!! hahaha pictures really help me to learn better =)
Okie, I AM HAPPY!!
no no no... I am DIFFERENT hahahaha
*give that SAME SAME look*
Ok ok.. I and happy AND different!!
I am happily different!!
or..
I am differently happy!!
wadever... LAME LAME...
Yesterday BBQ was GREAT!!! had so fun much!! it's like back to good old AUSSIE days... =)
hotcocoa