Friday, December 28, 2007
*__sIlLyGiRl] posted at 8:42 AM
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It's been a real struggle lately to drive home... and its a danger struggle... I found myself having to force my eyes open most of the time and struggle to keep awake behind the wheels... things is... this happens like consecutively the past few days...
the continuous early morning shift for the past few days aint helping at all...
and now... I am having a bad headache... and I still got things to settle...
My eyes now are like.... those that were behind the wheels ...
darn...
Some people can still take naps in the afternn....
God strengthen me!!! yes yes yes... I am prolly going thru all these becoz I asked for strength earlier on so that I can be strengthen by the situations that God had placed me in right now... weird? strange??
"My ways are not your ways"
Saturday, December 22, 2007
*__sIlLyGiRl] posted at 7:48 AM
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First of all!! Its the 22 DECEMBER 2007!!
Okie... my day today was... PACKED BACK TO BACK WITH STUFF from 10.... 9am in the morning til 10 pm at nite!! hmmmm
It started out with a fast fast drive from Hougang to NIE/NTU-ish area. then a 15 mins rush back from there to church coz meeting starts at 10am and I was a tad bit late... sorry...!! Never knew it take only a 15 mins drive from NIE/NTU-ish area to church. haha
AND I FORGOT TO CALL SHUAI TO WAKE HER UP!! coz i woke up at 7:45... that's why i totally forgot abt the 8:30 morning call... i caused her to be really late for the meeting... I'M SORRY!!!
Spent a lil time by myself praying there... Spent some time remembering what happened... and I cant help but tears just welled up... Nothing else I can do... but pray for God to intervene...
meeting for the next too hours before I rush to sunday school to settle stuff with SHUAI... thank God for SHUAI availing herself to help!!
1pm was music practice... with an empty and angui tummy... coz it was hurting me by then.. ate lunch after
2pm went up to sunday school and get them to get ready for the full dress rehearsal!!
Did I mention we were going to Yishun to perform the musical we plan for Christmas? AWESOME opportunity aint it?? =)
DID I MENTION that I WAS REALLY PROUD OF THEM?? all the animals, the dancers, my lil projectionist! THANKS TO COW(Kenneth), CAMEL(Eugene), PIG(Gerrard Ed), DONKEY(Sarah Ed), LAMB(Natasha) and ROOSTER(Yvonne) not forgetting DOVE, Miah, Debz, Becca, Charleen and SHUAI!! They did a really good job despite the technical difficulties, poor crowd response, one lost glove and some stumbles here and there!! I am so touched by their performance although I was the scriptwriter, the Director and have seen the performance upteen times! I just help but SMILE. It felt like they were performing for an audience of one, and thats God =)
SMS from Ps Glen to hear him say a job well done! and that he is very proud of me was... PRICELESS and very reassuring. to know that my SP took time out to come to Yishun to watch was... indescribable =) its really cool!!
PHEW!! that was basically my day today!!
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part 2....
This is MY battle...
This is THE battle....
This is the battle for my life...
This is the battle for my calling...
This is the battle for my eternity...
I have a battle to fight... A battle of my own.... A battle to fight on my own...
Sash was right... this battle links with the emotional part of me...
and I hv to win this battle on my own...
Thursday, December 20, 2007
*__sIlLyGiRl] posted at 8:40 AM
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I love You Lord and I lift my voiceTo worship You, oh my soul rejoice
Take joy my King in what You hear
Let it be a sweet sweet sound in Your ear
May the production be a sweet sight unto our eyes Lord. =) Please intervene in everything and have it Your way.
I take no credits for this production even though my name was flashed BIG on the trailer as Director and Producer.
This is for Your glory
Thursday, December 13, 2007
*__sIlLyGiRl] posted at 9:29 AM
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Okie... I am really trying to understand... maybe I see the different view... alright... that's ... okie... I guess...
So now I dun even know whether I should even say hi...
Or occasionally find you during lunch...
Or smile at you...
Or hav a small chat with you after service...
Or say Hi to ur mum...
Or be myself when u are around...
I am keeping a distant...
Okie... so now... you get all the time to tok to other people... becoz we dont want other people to get the wrong idea... so... I leave u alone... you get to have fun, tok, be yourself in front of everyone else, sit with people u want to... ALL except for me...
What was wrong with before...? Now... I am letting myself stay away from u... like seriously away....
you get to do everything that u have to do, everything that you need to do... then when I finally can get the time at the end of the day to just stop u for a moment and wanted to discuss some stuff with u... abt ministry... all I get is a "I've got to rush off..." Dont I get just 5 mins...? just 5?? 5 mins to say that Why not we tok on the phone ltr...?? rather than a... I've really gotta go....??
Or is it that we cant even tok on the phone right now...??
What about all the tok that we are still cool with each other? so... why cant we do things like normal friends do? just becoz we are afraid that other people might think otherwise? People that we toked too might think that oohh.. maybe they are not serious about what they say about breaking up... thats why they are still toking to one another... didnt we explain that we are still cool with each other...? so what now...?
You said as if we were done toking that nite... it was just a brainstorming-cum-saying thoughts out time... I only took down some vague mental notes... I was still trying to get u see how I am seeing my idea and you were just getting to see where I am coming from... so... to you, that was FINISHED? Jesus needa go up on a cross to say "It is finished" and you think a small tok and some thinking out loud ideas is considered finished? If that is the quality of work you want to put in it... then expect that kind of quality of work to be presented... And if that's the kind of quality that you are looking for... then sorry, I am not interested... dun expect a miracle to happen just by that 15 mins of tok...
I need ideas to help them tok abt what you have in mind to get them to share abt... it is not as simple as u think... I needa brainstorm exactly what needs to be said, help and guide them along... not just throw me an idea with vague details and expect me to get it done... and expect it to end of with a BANG... I am not a miracle machine generator. I need people to work alongside with me... If I am doing something for God... I wanna give my best... everything that I can offer...
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
*__sIlLyGiRl] posted at 8:37 AM
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His presence was so strong in the sanctuary today its amazing...
Monday, December 10, 2007
*__sIlLyGiRl] posted at 1:58 AM
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Certain things that certain people had mentioned made me.... kinda.... VERY PISSED...
And btw, we are still NOT together... so... the teasing AINT helping me at all...
Yes I know, he is special to me, NO denial, and NO I WILL NOT DENY that. And yes, we are working on it. But that doesnt mean we are together... we are NOT, NOT, NOT N-O-T and thats that. PERIOD.
I love looking at him, I love toking to him, I love to hang out with him. THAT IS WHAT I DO WITH FRIENDS. GOOD FRIENDS, SPECIAL FRIENDS. I take time out to meet YY for dinner even when I am busy. I take time out going for a movie with Shuai just becoz she wanted to watch it. I take time out to send Shuai and YY back when we go out (ok, shuai, sometimes only, coz she stays kinda far la... hahaha) I take time out to talk to Sulin online or SMS. I tend to stick to my these people when we are at a big party. We sit in a car alone, becoz sometimes, my car can only take TWO, TWO people. I take time out to just spend time with them. That is how I TREAT MY FRIENDS. Oh, did I mentioned that I go out with guy friends alone as well? I catch theatre shows with Kelvin before, just the BOTH OF US, not much of a problem. SO, right now, HE IS MY FRIEND. So... get over it already... You cannot dictate how I should treat my own friends....
And YES we still tok abt alot of stuff... STUFF that I can share with FRIENDS... but... we are NOT together... N-O-T!
Did I mention I was pissed?
Monday, December 3, 2007
*__sIlLyGiRl] posted at 1:34 AM
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It's a beautiful day and I am at Terminal 1's viewing mall. Decided to hang around here after work since will be sending the missions team off later. =)
It has been a clear day and I saw BLUE sky while on my way here in the car. COOL... the exact weather that cheers me up and make my day.
My highlight of the week!
It felt really good, nice, warm, comforting... and I mean REALLY good just to spend that few mins with you. fooling around, making fun of you and vice versa, it was just... just talking. not directed at any particular subject, JUST talking. Seeing that smile and laugh made me disappear into our own world. and yeah, that was the highlight of my week =)
I am working on it... I felt lost at the table... but I am working on it...
"Feeling lost?" was your question to me. honestly, yea I felt a little lost....OKIE... maybe more than a lil... But... it was okie... I am working on it... though it felt much more comfortable being with you. But comfort is not the word that should be commonly used here nowadays....
*BIG SIGH* Its been officially ONE MONTH! okie... happy because, it has been ONE MONTH!! sighing because there is still SEVENTEEN more to go... according to the time frame la... not like I am counting down... I would probably go crazy doing that. but well, I'm glad that one month is gone. managing is better than barely surviving. so I suppose that's good. =)
That nice lady bought chocolates, a pair of my fav hoopies (hoop earrings) and a necklace for me from her trip to EUROPE. Yeap, that Sash's mum. *beams* AHHH!!! *heartmeltz and feeling loved, REALLY loved* =) SO SWEET !! I LOVE HER =) awwwwww.... *beams*
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