Wednesday, June 25, 2008
*__sIlLyGiRl] posted at 7:50 AM
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MA TONG HUAI LE....
My sis inspired me for today's subject title =)
I came back and she told me... "MA TONG HAO LE."
then I realised... Ya hor... MA TONG has been "sick" for the past few days. basically, other than it's function and life mission to contain our peemotion (yes, PEE and MOTION), it's other important function is to flush out the peemotion. see....! even the MA TONG has it's "God-given" destiny =) SO, the flushing out part was down over the past few days and today, it was healed!! restored to its initial identity! I wonder did our MA TONG suffered it's identity crisis over the few days, since it cant be flushed.... or maybe it was experiencing it's quarter life crisis. Heh... =P
What I wanted to say was... we had to put a bucket of water beside the sick MA TONG and a little pail to scope the water from the bucket and pour the water into the MA TONG so as to try to flush out the pee... (no motion was done in this MA TONG as it was unfit for duty for 4 days). my point is... (yes finally getting to the main point here) the little pail that we used to scope the water from the bucket into the MA TONG is the one that I used when I was a child back in our old house!! we used to not have any water heater and we have this REALLY BIG pail to fill hot water and cold water in and we will use that little pail to scope water and pour over our head and body during bath time! INSTANT NOSTALGIA!! that red little pail with the handle sticking out.... MAN!! talk about memories!!
speaking about memories... I am a little nostalgic nowadays... met Joe online that day (awww! I missed saying that name!!) and we chatted for a bit. talk about Mick, talk abt Gen... (urggh...!! I miss those names... and those people...)
*sad*
I was shopping today for some of the CAreHut kids birthday presents and I came across this "SMASH! AUSTRALIA" water bottle. Instantly.... the vision of Surfer's Paradise came to my mind... the soft sand in my feet... the blue ocean in front of me... the freshness of the air that I breathe... the clear blue sky.... the surfers in the ocean... the sound of the waves... the distinct horizon... the ripples of the water... the 2 years that I spent there... the house... the car... church... dance ministry... those drives to gold coast... the cold yet sunny weather and most importantly... the boys... DARN... HELL YEAH I MISS THEM SO MUCH.... the times we spent hours practicing our dance... the times we went to the beach to hang out... the times we had BARBE at their place.... the times I massage them and they would just enjoyed it so much... the times we sang in the car... the times we played silly video games at mick's place... the times we caught movies together... the times they came over when I cooked... the times we sit together in church... the times we hang out after church... the times I saw them at Hillsongs conference... the times they make fun of me... the many many times we would hug each other when we see each other or when we leave for home... URRGGH.... *wiping away tears*
*sad...* I miss them so much.... so so much.... Sometimes I wanna just look at the photos we took when I was there but I dun even dare to open them to view... Coz I nv failed to cry whenever I look at those pictures...
this is something that is way beyond my control and I can only sit and reminisce in those beautiful memories....
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
*__sIlLyGiRl] posted at 8:45 AM
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I am crashing for the fact that I am taking 2 modules this term... it is that period of time when I find no meaning in whatever I do and feel lost at where I am.
3 weeks to go before I have a proposal to subject on a Church event, a 1,000 word essay and an exam to take.
the first NT exam was kinda a breeze. but I still do not know what to expect for the second one.
I have written many 1,000 words essays during my course of study and this seem like nothing to me
I already handed in my own proposal for my own church for this year Christmas. I can just use that idea, change it according to the expectation of the course and submit it.
Seems easy? yeap! but not when that is on top of my work in CareHut, ministry involvement in church and the 2 nites of class every week.
the virus is attacking again... this is like the second time this term... 2 modules aint a good idea at all... I am crashing...
I have opted for the recee trip instead of the actual mission trip this year solely for the fact that I dun have enough leave for missions recee, missions trip and church camp. I realised all my leave are used on church stuff and none for my personal enjoyment... like go for a Bintan trip. I really dont mind taking leave to do things for the Lord but I wish I have more. I wish I can go for mission recee, missions trip AND church camp... but reality sets in and smack me on my head to remind me again that it is IMPOSSIBLE.
WHile deciding if I should go for the recee, I asked my BIG Daddy why cant I just have the luxury to go for all three... they are all part of Ur work and I wanna do Ur work! even if it means I have no more leave to take to go to somewhere I like, like Bintan, Bali, some beach resort, HongKong, Taiwan or Aussie.... *wipe tears away* but the issue here is.. I dun even have enough leave to go for all three... let alone my ME time to somewhere to just relax for awhile...
I had to let go of the missions trip this year... God reminded me again of where I am NOW. I am working for CCSS and that is my vocation. Let the pastors and other people do what God wants them to do... and I will just do where God placed me at rite now... *OUCH...* A reality that is so hard to take for me... but to be a good steward, this is what I have to do now. ministry... missions... wait til the time is rite and God thinks I have to move somewhere else... Right now... I just do what I am supposed to do. *pouts at BIG Daddy* I wanna go to the recee in peace that that is where He wants me to be this year. and send the missions team to missions with joy that that is wad God wans them to do this year. I can always go the next time round... next year ;)
Sunday, June 22, 2008
*__sIlLyGiRl] posted at 5:27 AM
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Something weird happened on my birthday. I got this parcel from this person who didnt leave any name.... It was probably a recycled A3 envelope with the "On Government Notice" on it. The ones that I get in my office when we receive any letter from the government side. It was addressed to me. I opened it up and the thing was wrapped in layers of recycled "Newpaper". I tore them and found a DVD inside. It was a chinese movie titled "Happy Birthday" with the subtitle that goes like.... "Some thing that I care everyday but can only wish once a year". I tot it was really queer... I didnt dare to watch it thinking it might end up with something like "The Ring" sorta horror stuff and kept it one side... still havent gotten down to watching it though. I dont think I have that many friends who watches chinese movie so I really have no idea who sent me this dvd... yeap.. I still find it weird... One day, MeiXia came to my center to help out and I know she is those kind of lady who will watch chinese shows, at least more than me, so I briefly mentioned the title to her and she said that she had watched the show before =) So i asked her wad is the show abt. although she was kinda relunctant to tell me the story line in the beginning, she still did. I felt more queer than ever after.
The show is abt this guy and girl who lost contact after some time, but the girl gets a birthday card ever year on her birthday from this guy. Turns out, at the end of the show, this guy was actually already dead for very long. This guy actually got his friend to send this girl a birthday card every year just so that the girl would think that he is still around in this world. but actually he died in a car crash...
O.O Okie... who the hell would send me such a dvd on my birthday.... OWN UP!!! so queer.... I dunno if I wanna watch it...
on a lighter note! I found this really nice and quiet place at ECP to do work and have a cuppa =) Its the new "plaground" at ECP and I love it there!! hehehe with the sea breeze, sitting on the roof with the sky to watch, the sun hasnt set, u can see the sea from where u sit. WOAH!! I love it! I am LOViNG IT! =) I think I will hang out there tmr to complete my assignment WoOhOO!!
And did I tell you I am enjoying my every weekend? =) LAlALaLAla!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
*__sIlLyGiRl] posted at 11:20 PM
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I saw u standing there waiting for ur turn and tt sight pains me... I wanted to hug u then but I tot I'd wait til you were done. Many tots that came thru didnt stop me from doing what I felt I just wanna do. It doesnt really matter, all I wanted to let u knw was that I still do care alot about u. the cry that u let out when I whisper those three words put me to tears. It was as if u hv been waiting for me to say that again to u and I finally did. I dunno if u have any idea how much it pains me seeing u going thru all these. Honestly, I dowan to over promise and under-deliver. I am glad that I did wad I did. I am glad we spent some time together during those 4 days. I am glad we gave this and each other one more try tt nite at vivo. I am glad u are trying to take baby steps towards something bigger in ur life. I am ... just... GLAD.
Those 2 sentences pierced right thru my heart, hearing them coming outta ur mouth. I dun think I have said things like that to u... about my honest tots that u arent prepared for wad it has to take. "Maybe, u just are not prepared for it." Did it hurt? OF COZ!! Am I going let it get to me... I dun think so! I found my assurance in God when I laid down in bed and again in my morning drive to work. Who can say that he/she can be utterly prepared for God's will in his/her life? there are always something to work on in our journey towards our destiny. there will always be bumps and humps along the way, there will always be time when u are down and cant seem to get it rite. Are u prepared for it? Maybe I am prepared to see it coming. but unless the rubber meets the road, nobody can say that they are 100% prepared for it.
It doesnt matter if u honestly think that I m not prepared for it. first of all, I think there was alot of misunderstanding and miscommunication that lead to that..
but more importantly, I found my assurance in God that He will put me thru bumps and humps to make sure I get it rite someday and that He will not give me something that He knows I cant handle. I found comfort, acceptance and love in Him... There will always be a chance that man will disappoint you... but God's love for His people is everlasting. =)
So am I prepared? *grins*
still working on it!
and ..... I bet it's the same for YOU too ;)
Sunday, June 15, 2008
*__sIlLyGiRl] posted at 5:35 AM
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First and foremost -----------> HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMANTHA KOH WEIFANG!! yeap! one year older =) Great to see you grown to where u are now! and guess wad? Many more good years ahead of u!! =)
NEXT!! Youth Camp!
It was... different this year... I dunno how to describe it but it was just.... DIFFERENT. Surely, God was moving mightily in the services. But it was just... DIFFERENT... hmmmm No words can describe it...
7th June 2008
I celebrated my 25th birthday. Quarter of a century many say, but this was wad happened that day.
I woke up expecting to attend Munn's Holy Matrimony, get Sash's shirt exchange and done, head back home to slack and wait for my dinner appointment with my beloved one.
Morning call confirmed the dinner to be at 5ish, happily I put down the phone and got ready to leave for the wedding.
30 mins later a call changed everything. Here was my revised schedule...
11am to 2pm - Church Wedding and Lunch reception
2pm to 4pm - Tangs @ Orchard
4pm to 6pm - Kung Fu Panda @ Cine
6pm to 7pm - Simple dinner @ Diner's
7pm to 9 pm - Funeral Parlour
9pm to 10pm - Apple Pie ice cream @ Island creamery
the call that changed everything was that someone's mum went home to be with the Lord and Sash had to lead worship at the funeral.
I was upset that my dinner appointment had to be cancelled. at that moment, all I tot I was going to be left to do was... to the wedding and to town for abit and back and blank blank blank. of coz I was sad and disappointed... hey I am just getting real here. it's my birthday and the only thing that I was looking forward to had to be taken away from me. well... I am glad that feeling just lasted for awhile...
On the way to the church... God reminded me again... this is wad ministry is all about. birthdays are just another day... ministry is about people...
But God, this is not my ministry...! I am not called to do funerals... I am called to the arts in church...
You... hav a much higher calling than just arts in the church... being a pastor's wife is also a calling... and this is your preparation...
*looks up to Big Daddy*
*sings* "Oh what can I say... or what can I do..."
I put my birthday aside and flowed along with watever things that I have for the day left...
I had the greatest birthday ever! =) really! it came out MUCH better than expected. I had great fun with the SF! It was so much more meaningful than just merry celebration =)
I watched a super funny movie, KUNG FU PANDA!!! had a nice and simple dinner with good fellowship. and wad's best?! the APPLE PIE ICE CREAM!! *BIG SMILES ALL OVER*
It's a birthday that I will not forget anytime soon! A precious lesson revised, a question answered and a future to look forward to! That's my birthday!! YAY!! =)
Did I mentioned I am inspired to write a book? hahaha yeap!! I really had that inspiration. and I think I am going to get down to writing it soon! =)
Thursday, June 5, 2008
*__sIlLyGiRl] posted at 9:50 AM
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I can't seem to upload the video... hmmm OH WELLS.... for now, I will just upload the pictures then =)
DURIAN TREE!!!! I am so fascinated by this durian tree! I always LOVEEEEE durian but has never in my life came so close to its tree before!! thus, it explains the fascination! haha! =) *happy and jumps around in excitement*
DUCKLING!! yessss... have never seen on before either =) But I am glad I did anyway! so cute!! and the BLACK RABBIT is so cute too!!! =)
Ok OK!! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.... ! Here comes.... MY FAVOURITE PART OF THE DESARU TRIP!!! The highlight of the entire trip!!! LEts put our hands tgt and welcomee.... THE OWL!!!! =) Aint it CUTE?!?! it was... LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT K!! hahaha =) it started by me walking towards its cage... then those two eyes just followed me.... I stop, its eyes stop moving... I move... it followed me... with that stare... it look kinda dumb and kinda fierce.. like as if it's staring me down. hahaha BUT it's so cute!!! =)
And there was OWL's friend!
There you go... the human form
Monkey is itching! hahaha
DUnno wad Sarah was doing during lunch time!
BEcca Sam and Rae! coolness!!
Sam acting cute..... *bleah*
Sarah Debz and myself!! =) we are waiting for the food to be served!! =)
Sarah Debz and Me agaiN!
Two whites and two browns!
Becca and SAM!
Me and .... Its SAM AGAIN!! =)
Debz and.... YEAP! SAM....!
Sarah andguess who AGAIN.... S....A.....M......! =)
ME AND DEBZ!
Okie, this is like HILARIOUS!!! the three standing up didnt have any idea wad the bottom three are doing. the bottom three are doing the WOW sign with their fingers and mouth. I was laughing like mad after realising wad they are trying to do!! hahaha so fun!
HAHA! I have no idea wad are they trying to do to sam and rae! =)
The multi-slippers gang! =)
The picture is so COOL!!! and look! the whites are on one side, the browns on the other. hahaha wasnt planned!
this is the last picture I have on my camera, and guess wad... it's SAM ACTING cute... AGAIN! =)
That marks the end of our desaru trip! like I said, WE ALL HAD SO MUCH FUN!!! YAY!!! =)
Monday, June 2, 2008
*__sIlLyGiRl] posted at 7:49 AM
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okie, one thing at a time =)
finally the one week of internet fast is over!! *Phew*
So wad did I get outta it? Well, I spent more time on my books!! okie, I might just do it again some time, but for now, I AM online! hahaha
Desaru trip was AWESOME!! hahaha yes yes for more info pls read SAM or DEBZ blog, I realised that they blogged about the same thing and I dowan to blog abt it the third time! hahaha but all I can say is that I truely enjoyed the trip! it was fun fun fun!! and guess wad?! the FUN-NEST part was of coz... my favourite OWLs. SO CUte and I was telling Same that I wanna bring it home!! It's one of those things, which I would really love to have one at home, that would greet me after a hard day's work, with it's darn retarded face, so I get cheered up INSTANTLY!! Of coz, i dun get the joy outta their misery but it's just that they are SO CUUTE! like a Sha Pei dog, Oh my word... I really really loNG to have that Owl!! it was well... LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT! HAHAHa that was the highlight of the trip! and not forgetting Same's MTV recording! Gosh... it was HILARIOUS!! she was suddenly SO HIGH! and it was GREAT!! hopefully I can get the pictures and video up soon!!
I know it can be painful when it comes to having someone whom u are close to leave u... I think I can sorta understand where u are at... just be strong... I dunno wad else to say.. u gotta ask God for strength and u gotta do it urself... it's hard... but never impossible... stay strong! and continue to rock on! hahaha =) Love yah! rem, ur bro and I will still be around ;) and of coz... many others too =)
I wanted to tell you... that it hurts alot... it was practically heartbreaking... to see things like this... I wanted to share with you the feeling and struggle that I have... but I didnt get a chance too... as much as yes... I may sound angry and pissed when I shared those stuff with u... but deep inside... it was more of a heart break than anything else... basically... I felt like a shepherd losing one of his sheep... I cant and dowan to say anything now... it feels like words bouncing off the wall... or return to me in a totally different meaning... I cried to Big Daddy to give me strength... I just refuse to give up...
Sunday's second service was powerful! message was really good! I really like how the way the preacher gave a brief overview of the context of what he was preaching abt! great sermon! was glad that I was there =)
I asked Daddy (with a capital "D") why? why does my heart hurt so bad? why doesnt the words get through? why do they have to be interpreted wrongly? why am I not understood? why are my words heared but not listened? Suddenly, like a thunder... it came... "So u know how I feel now?" All of a sudden, I tot I could feel the heartbreak that my heavenly Father would feel (ok, maybe not as intense) when His precious children refuse to listen to Him... Many a times, we claim that "God doesnt speak to me"... OUCH.. I felt tht... but honestly... out of the many times, how many of it is becoz WE dun listen? and we push the blame to God and say HE doesnt speak... OUCH.... I felt tt again.... Truth is, He loves all His children and He long to speak to every single one of them... question is... are we CONNECTED with Him...?
"I so wanna grow saggy and old with you... travel the world... sharing the gospel... taking the message of redemption to the ends of this earth... *blank* *blank* and leave a legacy... ALL WITH YOU. A GOOD legacy in Jesus Name & By His Grace! "
I was looking through some pictures and I found this....
Then I realised that was about a year ago... time flies... I remembered the times we spent on the bus... that only one time we took a walk to the beach and sat there to wait for sunrise... the pictures we took... the meal times when we sat together... the times we sat together during service... the 44,000 children... the walks to the room... that was a year ago and so many things happened since... we are heading to youth camp once again this year... how different is it going to be...? I wonder wad awaits us there...
Thanx for the prayers today! I mean.. it was so sweet of ALL of u!! =) *so loved* hehehe
Okie! Desaru's pictures and MTV are uploaded to my computer! but I am still figuring out how to do this rite... so... pictures and video next time!! meanwhile... here's a sneak peek =)
hotcocoa