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Tuesday, June 24, 2008
*__sIlLyGiRl] posted at 8:45 AM

I am crashing for the fact that I am taking 2 modules this term... it is that period of time when I find no meaning in whatever I do and feel lost at where I am. 

3 weeks to go before I have a proposal to subject on a Church event, a 1,000 word essay and an exam to take. 

the first NT exam was kinda a breeze. but I still do not know what to expect for the second one.

I have written many 1,000 words essays during my course of study and this seem like nothing to me

I already handed in my own proposal for my own church for this year Christmas. I can just use that idea, change it according to the expectation of the course and submit it.

Seems easy? yeap! but not when that is on top of my work in CareHut, ministry involvement in church and the 2 nites of class every week.

the virus is attacking again... this is like the second time this term... 2 modules aint a good idea at all... I am crashing...

I have opted for the recee trip instead of the actual mission trip this year solely for the fact that I dun have enough leave for missions recee, missions trip and church camp. I realised all my leave are used on church stuff and none for my personal enjoyment... like go for a Bintan trip. I really dont mind taking leave to do things for the Lord but I wish I have more. I wish I can go for mission recee, missions trip AND church camp... but reality sets in and smack me on my head to remind me again that it is IMPOSSIBLE. 

WHile deciding if I should go for the recee, I asked my BIG Daddy why cant I just have the luxury to go for all three... they are all part of Ur work and I wanna do Ur work! even if it means I have no more leave to take to go to somewhere I like, like Bintan, Bali, some beach resort, HongKong, Taiwan or Aussie.... *wipe tears away* but the issue here is.. I dun even have enough leave to go for all three... let alone my ME time to somewhere to just relax for awhile...

I had to let go of the missions trip this year... God reminded me again of where I am NOW. I am working for CCSS and that is my vocation. Let the pastors and other people do what God wants them to do... and I will just do where God placed me at rite now... *OUCH...* A reality that is so hard to take for me... but to be a good steward, this is what I have to do now. ministry... missions... wait til the time is rite and God thinks I have to move somewhere else... Right now... I just do what I am supposed to do. *pouts at BIG Daddy* I wanna go to the recee in peace that that is where He wants me to be this year. and send the missions team to missions with joy that that is wad God wans them to do this year. I can always go the next time round... next year ;)


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