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Friday, March 7, 2008
*__sIlLyGiRl] posted at 9:27 AM

I finally told someone else other than sash all that's frustrating me... my struggles... my difficulties.... I fell apart and cried infront of him... He followed on to say a whole lot of things that really got me thinking... thinking and thinking really hard... 

His voice said... "how much do you want this?"

following stuffs that happened after that talk got me thinking even harder... 

When it happened, it was like.... *ouCH*
When I found out about it, it was like.... *oUcH...*  
When I heard it, it was like..... *OuCH.....*
OucH oUCh oUcH...!!!

I keep telling myself I will do wad God wand me to do... I will do what God wans me to do.... but it's still extremely hard.... Darn....

I am still thinking... maybe I should stop thinking and start praying more...

I was being put in a situation where I had no choice but to talk to max... felt really awkward to be left in that situation but I decided to asked God for something to talk about and He gave me a question to start it off. I asked the exact question that He gave me... and I had the best conversation I ever had in a long time. I saw how Max opened up to me and how I was able to talk to him so easily... I thank God for putting me in a situation like tt and He showed me how amazing a simple question can turn to the most meaningful conversation I ever had... in some time. I stand amazed at the work of His hands...

I was alittle down... But I knew (with increase pulse) that this is the right time to ask that question that I have been wanting to ask. Just the two of us. I have been waiting for the right opportunity. and there I was... at the perfect opportunity... But I told myself.. I cant... I am alittle down... how much a blessing can I be when I am alittle down... He reminded me of how I shouldnt stop being a blessing even when I am down... I shift how I am feeling aside and pop that question. the conversation just went on... I dunno how much I have impacted or be a blessing... but I did wat I could. I sow a seed... and I can only leave everything in God's hands because only He can make the seed grow. my job is to just plant the seed... I felt good at the end... I had the most meaningful conversation yet again... I stand amazed at the work of Your hands






no doubt... I am still hurting... *curls up in my corner in Big daddy's arms*